What is 'church'?

I have an inkling that Christian community is a relevant outworking of what church was, is and could be. Rather than it being exclusive – can community actually offer the base and security of acceptance and ‘good Samaritan’ style love, that reaches and importantly keeps reaching, people where they need it and where they can make sense of it?

It’s not a simple thing because nothing is where humans are involved. It takes love of community, of people, of God and a humility that says ‘not my will but yours’. It takes loving discipleship style leadership, that model and inspire the love that makes it tick. But is it all idealism. And if it is, what does that say about church.

I want to be part of something that holds people in Corinthians 13 love and not just attracts them in that way. That’s real isn’t it? Hospitality not just for the ‘seekers’ and students, but as a characteristic across the community.

I think this is worth trying – it’s what we preach but think is radical in practice!! He he! I think it’s also worth a shot in missional contexts. If we’re asking people in other cultures to be shunned by their families and communities when they choose to follow jesus, we sure as **** better have a greater community and family that they are welcomed into. Not once, but for the rest of their lives.

'watch where you walk'

As anyone can tell you, I am not the biggest fan of snakes in the world. I have had many interesting encounters, lots of grace and just a few scares – but we’re still not great friends.

So, curled up with Moses (the cat not the man) last night, I was reading my lonely planet guide to California, and happened on a bit about bears, lions, rattlesnakes and spiders – ‘oh joy’ I thought…

Tigers and bears – fine. Apparently with the tigers you fight off aggressively and the bears you play dead – good, got it, not a problem. The snakes you avoid – right ok. And the spiders get everywhere.

The most notable of which is our little friend the Black Widow. I was surprised they lived in the states – thought they just inhabited the bottom of the world they call Oz.

I can tell you now the size (15mm body) and colouring – black to brown top with orange/red hourglass marking on the bottom (if you ever see it – I thought). It’s amazing what you can retain!

So since then spiders have been dropping out of everywhere – even my hair! I’ve never had a fear of spiders, and I don’t intend to start one now. But I just want to shout ‘Ow Maaaan!!!’ not another thing to watch out for!

Bethel School of Ministry

People ask me all the time about whether they should go to Bethel. My answer? -  It's something you need to ask God about - He knows the path that is just right for us. BUT (I always quickly add) It will never be a bad decision. 

Going to Bethel was like coming home for the first time in my life. i found my tribe, more of myself, more of my God and a doorway into a life of wonders. To be in the most encouraging place on earth and one of the forerunning centres of what God is doing on the planet, is truly amazing - from here you could go anywhere.

You can follow my journey to and from Bethel on this blog, starting about here (spring 2006), whatever you do be strong and very courageous for He is with you...

Spring 2006>>>

I've been watching The Convent over the past few weeks, and though its not entirely my style, there is much to learn from the nuns and their life choice. The focus of taking a vow and living in a community helps to create a lifestyle of complete abandon and obedience to God- but isn't it how we should all be living - that focussed, that dependant?

Anyway, I'm not becoming a nun - well not in the strictest sense - but I am going away for a while. I feel God has suggested that there is something i need to do to be the person i need to be, and that Bethel is the place for it to happen. I'm not sure if I’ll turn from a bug to a butterfly but i know that the discipline of taking 9 months out to grow and learn and pray and practice and prepare and live 100% focussed on God - will allow space for God to speak and work on me.

That's not to say that going is not slightly scary, it is. I have to share my world with Americans who don't know what a kettle is. But God is good, and faithful and he will walk me through it. I've already randomly met a fab girl who's also going from the UK, but I’ve even got accommodation sorted - hurrah for God.

From September I will be sharing the journey on this blog over the nine months, so please do keep track and soak up any words of revelation i pass on. Obedience isn't always that bad either - check out the view!

Is faith spelt RISK or TRUST?

People have said faith is spelt RISK and it is in many ways. But, sometimes it's more like TRUST. like how you tust a parent when you're little or you trust a spouse that you know so well, that's more what faith looks like to me.

someone once said to me they could never live by faith as it's too risky. But actually, just as you know that your parents will provide for you and look after you when you're little, living by faith is like that - isn't it? because you know Jesus you believe in him and believe thathe will look after you. its not so much a battle but a relationship.

Anyway, words are one thing walking it is quite another! when everything else is shaken and falls away, that relationship is still there. theology might be out the window, but Jesus is still there.

With a major illness in the family, its not standing on sermons about faith that counts - it's that Jesus is still there in the middle of it.

Pretty shoes are generous because...

they cost a lot
they hurt a lot
they cause health problems
they cause addiction problems
they cause walking down hills problems
you can't drive in them
and they are leathel when combined with cattle grids

But all this is suffered at great cost,
so that others can take great joy in seeing very beautiful shoes.
aah. Now that's generosity.

Friends

what is the friendship thing? I am wondering, having spent the weekend with some very special girlfriends of mine, what the friendship thing is. You see, according to Bridget Jones and the rest of the world there are certain expectations with romantic relationships - but are there with frienships?

In junior school, we formalised friendships a bit like relationships. We had specific, offical and publically recognised 'best friends' and a defined friendship group who we exclusivly hung out with in the playground, invited to birthday parties and had play days round at each-others houses.

come high school, we dropped the 'best friend' thing but still just about had them and had a slighty less defined and bigger social group. these were more casual then previously and they may never see the inside of your front door.

come college, everyone is too cool and popular to define friendship groups and everything is super casual and fluid - everyone is everyone's friend and the pub is your home.

Uni and it changes again - your good friends become your family as you live in the same student house and then there's the folk from your basketball team and your English lectures, and your housemates friends and the random you met at a club and the girls from church...

so you leave uni and you're suddenly in a town where no-one knows your name and your good friends are scattered and you all begin new lives, with new people, new churches and again, new friends.

In your wake are tens of people who've been your friends, who you've trusted, who've seen your everyday and your hey day, who've sat up all night talking in PJ's - who you've had a relationship with (even if platonic) but have left along the way.

It's seen as positive to have had many friends but hurtful to have had many broken relationships - hmmm no point just a musing. That actually people are care-free about making friends and leaving friends, but are more cautious with relationships...

A trip to your home -town and fantastic old friends can make you think! I may not invest as much into them or expect as much back as a romantic relationship - it may not be formal or official, but actually they're consistancy is awesome and I love them to bits!!

I am Bridget

boyfriend: 0 (but whole and happy with self)
weight: unknown (and sticking to it)
ww points consumed: now unknown as pastries and donuts points value cannot be found due to general presumption they will not be consumed whilst on ww.
cigerettes: 0 but now considering valid option
balls planned: 1
riding planned: 1
glamerous weekend away with the girls planned: 2
exercise: 2
spiritual moments: 0 (but may just have one now as missing God chats)

I did an msn 'are you going to die because you're obese' test yesturday. asked all sorts of personal questions and was, i feel, quite inaapropriate. Anyway complied and worked out weightage in kg as silly system does not work in stone like rest of sane world. was very complicated to work out and involved great mathmatical and research skills. good for me. Anyway it said i was in the most 'at risk' catagory as had over 5 points on test. oh dear. plus it's probably not too promising as underestimated weight (as from last weight watchers meeting over 2 months ago and height which I'm never sure of - must measure before i die. preferably not of obesity as would not look exceedingly glamerous and dignified on death certificate). Anyway. point being: Kg very bizarre race.

Thing most disterbing when reading highly acclaimed and intelectual novel 'Edge of Reason'. Is frequant mention of weightage and general implication that rather large with lots of help needed to combat largeness. primarily large underwear, gym regime etc. but again point being, 9 st 6 undercuts weight of self considerably, so making self feel very obese - both through literary world and msn world and pastry and donut just consumed. gaaaah.

Not sure if good for mental state to be reading said book. hmmmm

When nobody speaks of remarkable things

Getting real and keeping the faith?

I'm looking forward to the release of Pete Greig's latest work 'God on Mute'. I've had many (many) heated discussions with Mr worthington surrounding this one - why if we are promised healing from the man that took sickness in every lashing, do friends still die of cancer. Why, if my brother is covered by the blood and is an inheritor of freedom, is he suffering month on month, and now year upon year.

I have my 'head' stance - that truth is in the word and that present circumstances are just temporary facts. I know my God is big enough. I know every theory and believe me we've covered them and tried them all. Don't tell me God brings these things to teach us and grow us. My God is the God of life and wholeness, he won't instigate this sickness and suffering. I know Him. And I have seen his power and his miricles.

That established, where I'm at does not even fit into words let alone rational thoughts. All i can do is scream at heaven: WHY? why is he still so bound? why is he not free after the first petition so many months ago? why when we tell this mountain to move does it not jump? why can't we hear your thoughts on this issue Jesus. endless whys...

And still, everyday i go home and he's not healed.

What i see conflicts with everything i believe. there aren't easy answers though everyone has one. Hello - it's not meant to be like this.

This I know, and has not been moved. Somewhere in the middle of this, Jesus is so powerful. He has not changed, his presence is more than real, his love is unshaken and I Trust Him. that's all the answer i have left. He is all I'l ever need, He is good, He never leaves and His heart is bigger and deeper and older and fresher than any of ours. It is (with)in Him that I need to be.

Being the change

Mahatma Ghandi had it right when he said: 'Be the change you want to see in the world.' I may be a modern hippy and 'you may say I'm a dreamer' (but I think we've already established that - though not quite in the Lennon sense), but do we do nothing and not impact anything or at least be able to say that change has happened in me - in one person? Who knows at sometime in our lives we may even effect another person!!!

Actually I think we do effect things already either positively or negatively. The little things with the people we live or work with, the lovely helpful person at the tesco check-out, or the little old lady you don't know but wave to every day. Then there's the big stuff. Giving and giving big. Collectively joining forces with all the other millions of people (that feel they don't really make a difference either) and buying good energy. Getting to a place of influence at work...

Thing is with me, is that I can think all this stuff, encourage the world to do it, complain about the problems and the exploitation but never establish it in my own life. Its good to think BIG but sometimes I need to think small as well.

Helen

My friend Helen, who is an amazing woman of God and courageous enough to follow Jesus around the world, has just emailed some news and photos.

Her stories of places in India (which are so familiar to me) and experiences in Rwanda/Mozambique, just stir in me a love for such people and places. I just get taken to a place of longing to be in touch with such precious people - each child, woman and man who God loves. It's something of Jesus in us that draws us to reach out and touch each individual with love.

I was reading yesterday an account from a girl in Moz who also works for Iris ministries there. I related so strongly with her simple statement that 'nothing could be so important' as caring for 'unwanted', withdrawn children and seeing them change into healthy, whole - fun loving, Jesus praising, kids. You can check it all out at http://www.irismin.org/