what is the friendship thing? I am wondering, having spent the weekend with some very special girlfriends of mine, what the friendship thing is. You see, according to Bridget Jones and the rest of the world there are certain expectations with romantic relationships - but are there with frienships?
In junior school, we formalised friendships a bit like relationships. We had specific, offical and publically recognised 'best friends' and a defined friendship group who we exclusivly hung out with in the playground, invited to birthday parties and had play days round at each-others houses.
come high school, we dropped the 'best friend' thing but still just about had them and had a slighty less defined and bigger social group. these were more casual then previously and they may never see the inside of your front door.
come college, everyone is too cool and popular to define friendship groups and everything is super casual and fluid - everyone is everyone's friend and the pub is your home.
Uni and it changes again - your good friends become your family as you live in the same student house and then there's the folk from your basketball team and your English lectures, and your housemates friends and the random you met at a club and the girls from church...
so you leave uni and you're suddenly in a town where no-one knows your name and your good friends are scattered and you all begin new lives, with new people, new churches and again, new friends.
In your wake are tens of people who've been your friends, who you've trusted, who've seen your everyday and your hey day, who've sat up all night talking in PJ's - who you've had a relationship with (even if platonic) but have left along the way.
It's seen as positive to have had many friends but hurtful to have had many broken relationships - hmmm no point just a musing. That actually people are care-free about making friends and leaving friends, but are more cautious with relationships...
A trip to your home -town and fantastic old friends can make you think! I may not invest as much into them or expect as much back as a romantic relationship - it may not be formal or official, but actually they're consistancy is awesome and I love them to bits!!
2 comments:
my *closest* friends are incredibly valuable to me... people who i can just *be* with, who don't try to fix me or solve me when i'm broken, who i feel safe with - safe enough to be open and honest with. they help make me what i am. however, i wonder if we're too precious about 'friendship'... Jesus was tagged "friend of sinners" (which kind of counted everyone in!), because he would take time with, listen to, eat with, care for *everyone*. Maybe we need to 'live more generously' in our friendships too?
Good thinking Mr Togwell. infact its friendship and community that is more important then any financial generosity (though that's part of it) - its about being friends with whoever's next to you and friends with the stranger the other side of the world who needs us. whew - glad we made that simpler!!! he he!!
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