Some unoriginal (but rather good) thoughts

These people say that they are mine

they Honour me with their lips but their hearts are far from me

and their worship of me is nothing but man made rules learned by rote

Because of this I will once again astound these hypocrites with Amazing Wonders

The wisdom of the wise will pass away

and the intelligence of the intelligent will disappear...

I was thinking today quite sceptically of a couple of people who claim some really far out supernatural experiences and then I was blown away by these verses in Isaiah 29.

Oh God I want to see wonders but not because I'm a hypocrite!Though now I'm thinking 'ok i still don't want to be an unbelieving hypocrite, but i know i need to still have my mind messed with by some wonderous works of God'. God come out of the box I've put you in! I don't want to just upgrade the size of my God box, I want him out of the box (whatever that looks like (gulp!))!!

Photo Fountain

For a bountiful selection from the last few months in California check out:

http://picasaweb.google.com/dreamsarehere/CaliforniaFall200602

xx

Back to Britania

OK. I know. It's been a shockingly long time and it's bad!! it's been crazy to say the least but i finally got all set for going to the UK, packed up, fitted in a quick trespassing trip to a hot tub and made the trip down to San Fran for my flight. We stopped off at the Golden Gate Bridge on the way, which was more amazing than i had expected.

Was great to see my mum's smiling face at Heathrow - felt just like Love Actually - and had a whirlwind weekend of sleeping at strange times, speaking strangely (spoke at both services on sunday and they could hear my accent both times!) and hanging out with strange peeps - no not really - it was great to be see my long lost homegroup.

Now I'm in the UK I've been forced to cross over to the dark side and entered the depths of myspace - if you want to keep in touch that way give me a shout at http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=137799383

xx

Marriage of Ministries

On Sunday We had Roland and Heidi Baker with us for the marriage of Iris Ministries and Bethel - they aren't merging but have entered a covenent relationship. Iris already have their US offices at Bethel and Elijah & Kristalyn (their children) live here too.
Heidi spoke at the morning services and in the evening we had the marriage - it was a really good time. everyone was encouraged to lay something at thier feet - money towards the wedding pressent (a well drill for mozambique) or just a shoe lace - whatever!


They jumped down and insisted on hugging everyone - much to Bill's bewilderment! Time isn't a factor for this mozambiquan couple - we were in church 9 hours on Sunday- truelly African! (the woman on the far right lives with me and is the office manager for Bethel - she's also highly prophetic - which is great when you loose the car keys!).

Signs that Make You Wonder

God first...!!

OK so are you ready to put British rationalism to the side for a moment and check out some stuff that's going on. it really helps me to remember what Aslan said about the suspicious and synical dwaves in The Last Battle - 'They are so scared of being taken in, that they cannot be taken out [into heaven]'. Yes lets weigh things and be wise, but let us not be so confined to what we think that we miss Gods out-of-the-box approach right in front of us. Oh God let us not be pharisees and miss you infront of us because you don't fit within our ideas!

There have been gem stones turning up in churches and homes that Bill has visited in the mid-west and east coast. I've seen pictures of them - there's a whole box in one place. they are just appearing on floors and clothes and in peoples hands as they worship. One lady has the scar of where the gem came out of her hand. One pastor had one by his bed and it woke him up in the night vibrating. They are often hot to the touch and leave a hot spot on your hands where you held it. The biggest ones are bigger than the hope diamond. Many of them have been sent to experts in the field of precious stones. They have all come back with the report that they are perfect and that they are made of a substance that has never been found on earth. We had never had one at Bethel until sunday when one was found by a cleaner after the morning service. I held it and it was amazing - perfectly cut about 5mm high and 4mm wide (see my pic above).

Who are we to say that these things are pointless? In the same meeting a man who was completly blind in one eye was healed during worship and after the service i saw him freaking out again - he had just regained hearing in an ear where he had had his eardrum sergically removed some 20 years ago!

Stretching make us able to do things we couldn't do before...

It feels like everything God is speaking about to me is then repeated in some sermon at the moment - its amazing confirmation but very stretching! we were talking about being 100% focussed on our calling and not compromising and then overcomming fear to step into ministry situations we don't think we can do!!

As you all know, as soon as i'm behind a microphone i freak out! Its not a place i feel comfortable in and so generally avoid! But who knows that we all need to be free of fear and walk in confidence in all areas so that we can be flexibly used todevelop the kingdom in whatever way we need to? So, I've been avoiding the microphone, as per usual. But as it happens twice in two days I've gotten to share and pray over the whole school.

One of the words that got me to Bethel in the first place was ' if you can't get rid of the fear, then go scared, but go!' and the other day after i had been behind that microphone a couple of times, the woman teaching said 'if you can't get shot of the fear, then preach scared and beat it that way!' - wow - was so timely!

Being up there was scary but i knew i needed to speak and both times i prayed over the school the spirit touched people which was so cool - i was so honoured to be used by God and give Him glory even though it was hard to be up there!

***Heidi and Roland will be with us this weekend for the mrriage of ministries that's happening on Sunday between Bethel and Iris. Looking forward to Heidi speaking on Sunday - she has a lot to impart and it will be great to just absorb all she has. - I'l give you some feedback next week!

leaders conference

I have loved this week. We have had a leadership conference here with pastors and leaders from all over the US and the world comming. From the 'big names' to the faithful survents qiuetly building the kingdom somewhere, they are all welcomed with such honour and such a heart to build them up and impart all that Bethel is.

They were getting truelly wacked yesturday as drunk and disorderlyness broke out over dinner! It was the crazy Bulgarian again, back after a couple of weeks! It was catching - half the servers (school of ministry students) where out with it, Bethel staff were piled up in heaps and the pastors were roaring drunk!

i loved being involved and welcoming them all to Bethel. As the overseer of our house is the office manager for Bethel we help her at conference time. From little admin jobs in the office building to doing registration, its such a privalge to serve and represent such a house.


If you want the CD's from the conference give me a shout.

xx

the crazy bulgarian and other things

So a week ago we had Georgian come speak at school. The most outragious and contagious person we've met - he is drunk, preaches drunk, gets people drunk and ministers out of drunk - its insane - but so so much fun! this guy is so overflowing with the spirit that people would get blasted just being near him - particularly if he fired his imaginary guns in your direction! He works a lot in hard to reach areas - muslim countries and enclaves and at home in the muslim ghettos of bulgaria where mny are saved by his 'hug' ministry as he passes on the touch of the Holy Spirit. He took the evening service too and we had a fire tunnle and a bit of a dance session into the late hours!

I realised that i havn't shown you the school/church. I will get an exterior shot at some point but in the meantime here's a pic of the main sanctury/ 1st year class/ christian school gym!!

It's pretty modest - they can only cram a 1000 people in at one time and with a home population of 3000 and a continual flow of visitors, its just not cutting it. There are 80 000 people in Redding, and when they all come into the kingdom (even when spread around the many great churches) there just isn't the space at the moment. It's perfect for school though - we fill it but there's still space to dance like lunitics and only occasionally knock someone out! Its such a place of freedom, naturally and supernaturally. We've had crazy swessions in this room - sometimes with the whole school dancing in the ailses, on the stage, in their seats. but my favourite session was just 2 of us with the music cranked up late at night - filling the empty space with dance and worship and prophesy. Its pretty special.

Introducing...!!

This last week has been the most intense for me so far - kinda a culmination of the other weeks which softened the ground for the Holy Spirit to work on me! It's so special! so this (above) is the new Sarah - she looks pretty similar but believe me - she's not the same!!

So other than hanging out with the Holy Spirit i've um been well um hanging out with the Holy Spirit - this is what i do a lot of ==>

- journaling - can't quite keep up with myself! We have a lot of reading, study and homework to do - so i have my nose in a book a lot! we're reading the whole bible this year and studying it in class as we go - its so good.

I'm really knowing daddy's love - he's provided me with some really key friends who are just pulling out the gold in me - yesturday we just had the giggles as we stepped into a new level of joy - its just so fun! Bill was sharing a profound messege with the first year of school - which was amazing too! All about not checking yourself for motives because it shifts your focuss of Jesus and His glorification - the devil loves to cripple us by getting us naval gazing!

You know His blessings are just so spectacular - i needed a car while i am here bacause it's built around cars here and your totally stuck without - so i prayed a momentry plea - 'God i don't know how but i need a car - can you sort it out for me?' the next day my roomate said i can car share her car - you wanna see the car God provided for free?... ok check this out for heavenly provision...

And after recieving financial blessing i just prayed for another guy at school who was struggling financially and he got an incredible financial blessing within a week! its crazy - we don't understand it all - but lets keep passing it on!!

Bless you all!

10.10.06

Hey y'all! By the 11th I will have been here a month - which is kind wierd. things have been pretty crazy and busy recently. I've started training with the children's department at church outside of school hours - which is an amazing opotunity. There is such a strong belief that kids don't come with a childsized holy spirit - which means hey walk in expectation that the kids in the school and childrens church will walk in the same demonstrations of the supernatural as any of the adult population. Infact they are serpassing - one small group of kids trained up in the bethel culture have seen the first dead person raised back to life and health! Bethel re offering a year long training course with pratice to learn how to release and encourage kids into their full spiritual potential - now! So that's keeping me busy!

School has also stepped up a notch. We now have outreach, small group and home group requirements, time in the prayer centre, homewok, biblical study and books to read and report on - its busy busy but good - really good! the pic above is a shot of the infinity pool a the prayer centre - it runs off into a waterfall - its such a great place to look out over the valley, to wade in the water and to spend time with Jesus.

Thankyou everyone who is praying for me and supporting me in so many ways. I am so thankful to be here at this time and know i am in God's perfect will for me at this moment - that's exciting! I'm learning so much (head and heart) and can't wait to grow more!

xx

California Dreamin

Its been a week and a half but feels like a age since i've been living in very sunny California - its been intense, beautiful, normal, very different and familier all at once! It's been tough leaving the UK and all the people a care about the most, but as i'm gradually settling in here - i am begining to love the people and the place.

Redding in northern Cali is 2 1/2hours north of San Francisco and has a population of 80 000. The city is on the edge of the mountains and far enough out of the way to be it's own world. Bethel Church has a ministry school of 500 (inc all 3 years), church population of 3000 and a large christian school. It sits on a big campus on it's own small hill overlooking the mountains - and is always busy!! there is a road leading to the church and its constantly got traffic - everyday this church building is a centre of community and kingdom business!

Here's a view from the prayer garden. The littleprayer house is open 24-7 and the garden is inspiring with an infinity pool from which to pray...

On tuesday the whole school left redding for retreat a couple of hours north into the hills - so beautiful! My housemate Emily, a second year and myself stopped on the way up to test out my lonely planet guide and go find a waterfall it raved about. we walked up a railway line for 30min and came to these falls:The pic only shows a fragment of this spectacular fall. apparently loney planet were guiding the rest of the world too - we met several other students on the tracks inc a brit - Robert.

What is 'church'?

I have an inkling that Christian community is a relevant outworking of what church was, is and could be. Rather than it being exclusive – can community actually offer the base and security of acceptance and ‘good Samaritan’ style love, that reaches and importantly keeps reaching, people where they need it and where they can make sense of it?

It’s not a simple thing because nothing is where humans are involved. It takes love of community, of people, of God and a humility that says ‘not my will but yours’. It takes loving discipleship style leadership, that model and inspire the love that makes it tick. But is it all idealism. And if it is, what does that say about church.

I want to be part of something that holds people in Corinthians 13 love and not just attracts them in that way. That’s real isn’t it? Hospitality not just for the ‘seekers’ and students, but as a characteristic across the community.

I think this is worth trying – it’s what we preach but think is radical in practice!! He he! I think it’s also worth a shot in missional contexts. If we’re asking people in other cultures to be shunned by their families and communities when they choose to follow jesus, we sure as **** better have a greater community and family that they are welcomed into. Not once, but for the rest of their lives.

'watch where you walk'

As anyone can tell you, I am not the biggest fan of snakes in the world. I have had many interesting encounters, lots of grace and just a few scares – but we’re still not great friends.

So, curled up with Moses (the cat not the man) last night, I was reading my lonely planet guide to California, and happened on a bit about bears, lions, rattlesnakes and spiders – ‘oh joy’ I thought…

Tigers and bears – fine. Apparently with the tigers you fight off aggressively and the bears you play dead – good, got it, not a problem. The snakes you avoid – right ok. And the spiders get everywhere.

The most notable of which is our little friend the Black Widow. I was surprised they lived in the states – thought they just inhabited the bottom of the world they call Oz.

I can tell you now the size (15mm body) and colouring – black to brown top with orange/red hourglass marking on the bottom (if you ever see it – I thought). It’s amazing what you can retain!

So since then spiders have been dropping out of everywhere – even my hair! I’ve never had a fear of spiders, and I don’t intend to start one now. But I just want to shout ‘Ow Maaaan!!!’ not another thing to watch out for!

Bethel School of Ministry

People ask me all the time about whether they should go to Bethel. My answer? -  It's something you need to ask God about - He knows the path that is just right for us. BUT (I always quickly add) It will never be a bad decision. 

Going to Bethel was like coming home for the first time in my life. i found my tribe, more of myself, more of my God and a doorway into a life of wonders. To be in the most encouraging place on earth and one of the forerunning centres of what God is doing on the planet, is truly amazing - from here you could go anywhere.

You can follow my journey to and from Bethel on this blog, starting about here (spring 2006), whatever you do be strong and very courageous for He is with you...

Spring 2006>>>

I've been watching The Convent over the past few weeks, and though its not entirely my style, there is much to learn from the nuns and their life choice. The focus of taking a vow and living in a community helps to create a lifestyle of complete abandon and obedience to God- but isn't it how we should all be living - that focussed, that dependant?

Anyway, I'm not becoming a nun - well not in the strictest sense - but I am going away for a while. I feel God has suggested that there is something i need to do to be the person i need to be, and that Bethel is the place for it to happen. I'm not sure if I’ll turn from a bug to a butterfly but i know that the discipline of taking 9 months out to grow and learn and pray and practice and prepare and live 100% focussed on God - will allow space for God to speak and work on me.

That's not to say that going is not slightly scary, it is. I have to share my world with Americans who don't know what a kettle is. But God is good, and faithful and he will walk me through it. I've already randomly met a fab girl who's also going from the UK, but I’ve even got accommodation sorted - hurrah for God.

From September I will be sharing the journey on this blog over the nine months, so please do keep track and soak up any words of revelation i pass on. Obedience isn't always that bad either - check out the view!

Is faith spelt RISK or TRUST?

People have said faith is spelt RISK and it is in many ways. But, sometimes it's more like TRUST. like how you tust a parent when you're little or you trust a spouse that you know so well, that's more what faith looks like to me.

someone once said to me they could never live by faith as it's too risky. But actually, just as you know that your parents will provide for you and look after you when you're little, living by faith is like that - isn't it? because you know Jesus you believe in him and believe thathe will look after you. its not so much a battle but a relationship.

Anyway, words are one thing walking it is quite another! when everything else is shaken and falls away, that relationship is still there. theology might be out the window, but Jesus is still there.

With a major illness in the family, its not standing on sermons about faith that counts - it's that Jesus is still there in the middle of it.

Pretty shoes are generous because...

they cost a lot
they hurt a lot
they cause health problems
they cause addiction problems
they cause walking down hills problems
you can't drive in them
and they are leathel when combined with cattle grids

But all this is suffered at great cost,
so that others can take great joy in seeing very beautiful shoes.
aah. Now that's generosity.

Friends

what is the friendship thing? I am wondering, having spent the weekend with some very special girlfriends of mine, what the friendship thing is. You see, according to Bridget Jones and the rest of the world there are certain expectations with romantic relationships - but are there with frienships?

In junior school, we formalised friendships a bit like relationships. We had specific, offical and publically recognised 'best friends' and a defined friendship group who we exclusivly hung out with in the playground, invited to birthday parties and had play days round at each-others houses.

come high school, we dropped the 'best friend' thing but still just about had them and had a slighty less defined and bigger social group. these were more casual then previously and they may never see the inside of your front door.

come college, everyone is too cool and popular to define friendship groups and everything is super casual and fluid - everyone is everyone's friend and the pub is your home.

Uni and it changes again - your good friends become your family as you live in the same student house and then there's the folk from your basketball team and your English lectures, and your housemates friends and the random you met at a club and the girls from church...

so you leave uni and you're suddenly in a town where no-one knows your name and your good friends are scattered and you all begin new lives, with new people, new churches and again, new friends.

In your wake are tens of people who've been your friends, who you've trusted, who've seen your everyday and your hey day, who've sat up all night talking in PJ's - who you've had a relationship with (even if platonic) but have left along the way.

It's seen as positive to have had many friends but hurtful to have had many broken relationships - hmmm no point just a musing. That actually people are care-free about making friends and leaving friends, but are more cautious with relationships...

A trip to your home -town and fantastic old friends can make you think! I may not invest as much into them or expect as much back as a romantic relationship - it may not be formal or official, but actually they're consistancy is awesome and I love them to bits!!

I am Bridget

boyfriend: 0 (but whole and happy with self)
weight: unknown (and sticking to it)
ww points consumed: now unknown as pastries and donuts points value cannot be found due to general presumption they will not be consumed whilst on ww.
cigerettes: 0 but now considering valid option
balls planned: 1
riding planned: 1
glamerous weekend away with the girls planned: 2
exercise: 2
spiritual moments: 0 (but may just have one now as missing God chats)

I did an msn 'are you going to die because you're obese' test yesturday. asked all sorts of personal questions and was, i feel, quite inaapropriate. Anyway complied and worked out weightage in kg as silly system does not work in stone like rest of sane world. was very complicated to work out and involved great mathmatical and research skills. good for me. Anyway it said i was in the most 'at risk' catagory as had over 5 points on test. oh dear. plus it's probably not too promising as underestimated weight (as from last weight watchers meeting over 2 months ago and height which I'm never sure of - must measure before i die. preferably not of obesity as would not look exceedingly glamerous and dignified on death certificate). Anyway. point being: Kg very bizarre race.

Thing most disterbing when reading highly acclaimed and intelectual novel 'Edge of Reason'. Is frequant mention of weightage and general implication that rather large with lots of help needed to combat largeness. primarily large underwear, gym regime etc. but again point being, 9 st 6 undercuts weight of self considerably, so making self feel very obese - both through literary world and msn world and pastry and donut just consumed. gaaaah.

Not sure if good for mental state to be reading said book. hmmmm

When nobody speaks of remarkable things

Getting real and keeping the faith?

I'm looking forward to the release of Pete Greig's latest work 'God on Mute'. I've had many (many) heated discussions with Mr worthington surrounding this one - why if we are promised healing from the man that took sickness in every lashing, do friends still die of cancer. Why, if my brother is covered by the blood and is an inheritor of freedom, is he suffering month on month, and now year upon year.

I have my 'head' stance - that truth is in the word and that present circumstances are just temporary facts. I know my God is big enough. I know every theory and believe me we've covered them and tried them all. Don't tell me God brings these things to teach us and grow us. My God is the God of life and wholeness, he won't instigate this sickness and suffering. I know Him. And I have seen his power and his miricles.

That established, where I'm at does not even fit into words let alone rational thoughts. All i can do is scream at heaven: WHY? why is he still so bound? why is he not free after the first petition so many months ago? why when we tell this mountain to move does it not jump? why can't we hear your thoughts on this issue Jesus. endless whys...

And still, everyday i go home and he's not healed.

What i see conflicts with everything i believe. there aren't easy answers though everyone has one. Hello - it's not meant to be like this.

This I know, and has not been moved. Somewhere in the middle of this, Jesus is so powerful. He has not changed, his presence is more than real, his love is unshaken and I Trust Him. that's all the answer i have left. He is all I'l ever need, He is good, He never leaves and His heart is bigger and deeper and older and fresher than any of ours. It is (with)in Him that I need to be.

Being the change

Mahatma Ghandi had it right when he said: 'Be the change you want to see in the world.' I may be a modern hippy and 'you may say I'm a dreamer' (but I think we've already established that - though not quite in the Lennon sense), but do we do nothing and not impact anything or at least be able to say that change has happened in me - in one person? Who knows at sometime in our lives we may even effect another person!!!

Actually I think we do effect things already either positively or negatively. The little things with the people we live or work with, the lovely helpful person at the tesco check-out, or the little old lady you don't know but wave to every day. Then there's the big stuff. Giving and giving big. Collectively joining forces with all the other millions of people (that feel they don't really make a difference either) and buying good energy. Getting to a place of influence at work...

Thing is with me, is that I can think all this stuff, encourage the world to do it, complain about the problems and the exploitation but never establish it in my own life. Its good to think BIG but sometimes I need to think small as well.

Helen

My friend Helen, who is an amazing woman of God and courageous enough to follow Jesus around the world, has just emailed some news and photos.

Her stories of places in India (which are so familiar to me) and experiences in Rwanda/Mozambique, just stir in me a love for such people and places. I just get taken to a place of longing to be in touch with such precious people - each child, woman and man who God loves. It's something of Jesus in us that draws us to reach out and touch each individual with love.

I was reading yesterday an account from a girl in Moz who also works for Iris ministries there. I related so strongly with her simple statement that 'nothing could be so important' as caring for 'unwanted', withdrawn children and seeing them change into healthy, whole - fun loving, Jesus praising, kids. You can check it all out at http://www.irismin.org/