Dreams Are Here

Me, My Mac and i

2011-10-12T21:02:00.001Z

My Mac has recently been feeling a bit sad. It's 5 years old now and was starting to feel a little laden down by all the junk I had her loaded with. So time for a little refresh and back to factory (2006) settings. Later in the week it's going to get Lion installed and will be fighting it out with brand new editions again, but until then it's fun spending time on c. 2007 Mac. Particularly because, prompted by the death of here maker, I am simultaneously looking back on Steve Job's career and the history of Macinosh. Having a 2007 mac for the week is a bit like an experiential history class. As I write in basic TextEdit, because I haven't re-installed Windows for Mac yet, i think how far we've come since this little baby was born. This beautiful little white Macbook 13 inch, pre-dates iPod touch, iPhones and iPads. When it was new, there was only one Apple store in England (one i once cried on the phone with). Yep this mac, and the macintosh company at large, have come a long way in a few short years.So what made me get a mac back then? I'm not really sure. Other than I was fed up with computing as I knew it. I was fed up with viruses and breakdowns and slow motion loading and gray everywhere. I was tired of bulky laptops and batteries that didn't work. I remember my last laptop, before it finally died, i sported it with a white apple sticker stuck on the lid. wishing. I had recently been given my first ipod a few months earlier, the last one available at best buy in the black friday sales. i realized then how simple Apple products were to use and how reliable. I once spilt so much coffee on my ipod that it freaked out with the caffeine and seemingly died. But, after a warm bubble bath and a sauna it was (and still is) right as rain.I had been given £1000 anonymously a few months previously to help with the ministry school year I was doing. Though things were tight I had been saving for the school, I had a job and the British Pound was strong. I was making ends meet. Just. The money was an amazing gift and I knew it had a purpose. So instead of flittering it away, I saved it, waiting.In February 2007 my PC laptop finally died. I worked from home back then and supported myself that way. I needed an emergency replacement -fast! I temporarily hijacked a friend's new macbook to test drive one for a few days and was thoroughly convinced.I then knew what that money was for! Once transferred to dollars it paid for the Mac exactly. I ordered one and had it shipped to Oregon, because I couldn't afford sales tax! This baby mac was the first in my family. I had found a new religion.The Mac paid for itself in 2 months of work, which i wouldn't have been able to do with out it. Best investment ever. 5 years later I know it was the greatest purchase I've ever made. It has lasted 4.5 years of full-time work and home use. It's gone through 4 hard-drives, 2 keyboards and a few re-sets like this one. But it's still going strong. I love my Mac!My computing world had gone from black and white to color instantly. It was so user friendly and unsnobbish. this machine was built with me in mind and i didn't need a degree in computer science to pick it up. it was so intuitive, i had to thank it daily for being kind to me.I remember back then the mac club was a little smaller than it is today. Mac users would still give each-other a respectful nod as they nursed their machines in coffee shops. I remember trusting Mac users implicitly 'would you mind watching my stuff while i nip to the bathroom?' (a logistical problem by all who work from Starbucks) was only ever aimed at Mac users. i had joined the brotherhood for sure. A lifelong family of enlightened and slightly more free-spirited people with a loyalty to the Mac faith that last a lifetime. For none of us would ever 'go back'.I'm currently watching Youtube videos about Steve Job's and Apple. And I'm struck time and again by His ethos and lessons for life and not just his commentary on commputing. This one struck me particularly about what we need to remember about ourselves:There were too many people at Apple and Apple eco-system that were playing the game of 'For Apple to win Microsoft has to lose' and it was clear that you didn't have to play that game because Apple wasn't going to beat Microsoft, Apple didn't have to beat Microsoft, Apple had to remember who Apple was, because it forgot who Apple was.So yey for Jobs, yey for my Mac and yey for being us and remembering who we are.

Balance.

2011-04-18T11:08:00.001Z

I could hit many different things in talking about balance. I think balance is my belief system, my ethos, my goal for life. Not balance that looks like compromise, not even finely balanced thin narrow road kind of balance and not quite ying-yang kind of balance either.

This is not about a bit of evil in good or vis a vis. Or not willing to fall off a tight-rope, not even moderation. More like, variety. Doing all the things you love. Embracing all of who you are and all that life has to offer.

What made me start thinking about balance this week was diet. I have done the Atkins diet, plus a lot of working out, off and on for the past year and successfully lost 14lbs and toned up some. I love being able to wear more of the styles and clothes I want and feeling good about myself.

But, i also love to eat all the wrong things as well as a bunch of right things. When i look at a croissant i think 'life is too short not to eat this'. When i look at a pretty pair of shorts i think 'no food is worth not being able to wear these'. It's a conundrum. When i look at a treadmill i think 'I'll just diet more' when i look at a cake i think 'I'll just work-out more'.

I thought recently "When I'm 70 or 80 i'm just going to eat whatever I like" but then I thought 'what if i get hit by a bus before then and miss out on all the cake eating!!!??" that would be awful. Plus i have a belief that I should live life to the full, through all of it, not waiting for a 'someday'. I'm a little stuck between a piece of cake and a pair of skinny jeans, I need a solution.

How can you enjoy life to the full and look good doing it? You can't have your cake, eat it and banish the cellulite too...or can you? Maybe you can. Maybe it's about some positive choices brought on my some smart questions. Maybe positive choices is the kind of balance i'm looking for.

like...

I'm never going to be a waif, so what weight am i happy to live with and accept?

What clothes do i need to accept i can't wear and which ones can i boldly go for? Can i play with color instead of hem length?

What treats are do I really want in my life to make it that little bit richer? What foods can I actually live without?

What do i love to do that is physical to cut down treadmill time? How can I make exercise richer, more varied and part of my lifestyle?

So far I've realized that I need a bike with a basket to make cycling fun and a practical car journey replacement, a dog to go walking with, fun classes not just gym sets, heels to make my legs look longer than the gym can ever do, croissants on occasion and cereal daily because they make me so happy. On super special days a little cake, juice, pizza, bread or dessert won't kill me, but i can skip potatoes, rice, pasta for good. Then there's the stuff in moderation - beans, lentils, butternut squash - all the things i love in the winter - i can have, just not in huge quantities and not everyday.

The next adventure is discovering the good, good food all of me will relish. What tastes are out there that I will adore and so will body? Is there ever an end to finding out what good food and good recipes are out there? Maybe you can have your cake and eat it to when your cake is the most exquisite fruits and tasty spices and rich recipes littered with the good things of the earth.

Then there is the movements that are gaining momentum that can teach me and my taste buds a thing or two about what is both yummy and what does me good too. Ice cream made from creamed bananas and not creamed cream; juice made from spinach and mint and ginger instead of cola, nuts and fruit instead of crisps and candy...these things i have discovered make me and my body more happy, than their pale predecessors. A few weeks ago I ate my last macdonalds, the 'treat' had become such a pain (in my gut) that I realized this was no-longer a treat at all and could be lost from my life very happily. So what I'm saying is: here's to adventure in variety and redefining what looks like food glory.

Balance - I'm trying to find it by asking the question: what do i REALLY want in my life? ...and going with that. Hmm we'll see if the scales agree its possible... ;)

Inspired by French Woman Don't get Fat.

Celebrate what's past to change what's present.

2011-03-15T11:02:00.000Z

WE STOPPED A TSUNAMI TODAY!!!!! Is what I wanted to shout from the facebook podium on Friday. It started, we prayed and it stopped. I think, that is remarkable on biblical proportions.

Predictions put the entire Pacific Rim at risk, low-lying pacific islands were going to be submerged, Hawaii swamped and California, my homeland, was going to get hit hard.

I thought of happy days strolling around LA’s waterfront; Venice, Marina Del Ray…and realized what a 6ft serge in sea level would do. I had seen it before. I was there after the Indian Ocean Tsunami in 2004. I walked streets inland where the water mark on the buildings was well above my head, I stood on the Ocean front were townships had once stood and where there was nothing now but sand. I was watching the pictures live pouring of Japan, the horror. It had to stop and I knew we could stop it.

We saw it happen last year with figi and previously with California. So we knew this time, if we prayed, we could stop an ocean-wide wave carrying the power of multiple atomic bombs. It sounded crazy, except if you’ve seen it stopped before by prayer, prayer is the most obvious reaction to take.

After all if God can hold back a sea to let people cross on dry land, He could hold back an Ocean and preserve the dry land.

So we prayed. Prayer shouts were going up from friends all over the world. We knew the drill: the wave must stop and peace must reign over the Pacific.

I could see as we united with heaven and great angels were placed in the path of the serge, they took the impact, the wave halved and halved again in power and size.

Buoy readings across the Pacific were reporting back the diminishing wave, blowing every prediction out of the water. It’s power was dissipating before our eyes. What could have been unmitigated disaster fizzled out, I believe, under the power of us, the rulers of earth uniting with Heaven to create peace on earth and goodwill to all people.

I thought all this, but didn’t shout it from the facebook podium. It felt crass. In light of the horrific toll the Tsunami had already taken on Japan, celebrating a victory for the rest of the Pacific, felt like celebrating a healing in the middle of a cancer ward.

Today, with Sky News playing in the background, I’m re-thinking. It may still be crass. Amongst news of radioactive waste, food and energy shortages, grief, destruction and global economic panic, remembering the wave stopped can feel irrelevant and insensitive.

But, I’m remembering, that’s what we do. Where I come from we celebrate healing in the middle of cancer wards, we grow out legs in front of wheel-chair users, people with hearing aids heal eardrums. And we celebrate every victory.

Where I come from we celebrate every miracle, even surrounded by great need; because it’s the celebration of one miracle that causes it to be repeated. The stories of divine intervention and cooperation with heaven lift our eyes to possibility, to hope. It restores a big picture, that there is good in the world and not only suffering. But beyond that we know, that telling the stories of what God has done, releases the power for the miracles to be repeated.

It is irresponsible to not to remember what He has done, when winds are sweeping radioactive material into the atmosphere. We need to know we can stop the winds like we stopped the wave. We need to gather courage that prayer works and celebrate the victories as they come. Because if we don’t, we may just sink beneath the waves of bad news. For Japan’s sake, for our sake, we need celebrate the power of prayer and the power of our God.

Finally it reminds us to stand up and be counted. It reminds us that we were assigned to rule this world and bring peace to the earth. If we don’t know how we effect the world, we will sit stare at the TV instead of change what we are seeing.

I would never have told that wave to stop, if I hadn’t heard of it being done before. We need to celebrate the victories so that we are encouraged to do it again.

Celebrate what we did with God and then pray that the winds will change.

#3 something creative.

2011-02-09T17:24:00.001Z

Straight from my iPhone...genius modern technology let's me blog from the weirdest places... Like right now.

2011-02-09T17:18:00.001Z

Hello crew. So in the vain of upholding my NYR to blog more (#4) I thought I would make it easier on myself by setting up mobile blogging. Which turns out to be easier than setting up mobile banking...something I've tried numerous times and failed lime a technologically challenged grandma. So here it is. First post from a weird place.

Oh and I bought myself flowers for the second tome in as many days. So #23 is going strong. and I painted s giant canvas yesterday. So that's #3. Tick. Yey for me. How is that resolve coming on for you?

Peace. S.

Sent from my iPhone

Praline

2011-02-08T13:58:00.002Z

It was my dad's birthday and i remembered that when we were little he used to love my mom's chocolate praline which she hasn't made this side of the millennium...so i resolved to rummage and find that old recipe. And so I did. On a little scrap of paper, in typewritten print, the following little recipe. What i didn't remember from the past was just HOW amazingly good this stuff is. Divine. Decadent. Deliriously good. This is a chocolate fix better than chocolate:

Praline:
1 1/2 cups of plain biscuits or nuts (or a mix) bashed up with a rolling pin/recently emptied bottle of scotch
2tbs brown sugar
2tbs syrup
2tbs cocoa
3/4 cup margarine.
Topping:
200g/6oz good dark chocolate - I used lindt 85%

Praline:
Melt the margarine over a low heat, then remove from heat and add the other ingredients except the chocolate. Stir well. Pour into a greased cake tin and press down evenly all over. Put it in the freezer to cool.

Topping:
Meanwhile, melt the chocolate in a glass bowl over a pan of water. Pour over the praline and put the whole thing in the refrigerator for several hours.

You can cut and serve like brownies or, like i did, use it as a really rich desert and serve with raspberries/cream/icecream/hot chocolate sauce...........

Make it - it's easy peasy - then thank me later :)

the resolutions...

2011-02-08T13:21:00.004Z

Read the previous post on New Years Resolutions here.

Well you have been patient, as only my blog readers can be. So here goes, at the start of a new year these are the things I want to incorporate into my life this year...along with 1)get an amazing job 2) Get an amazing apartment and roomate 3) Get a life again ...oh yes the honestly bit, yes ok and... 4)meet the man of my dreams, get married, live happily ever after and have lots of children ...(well ok not the last bit...well not for a while anyways)

So my actual little life changes, which i have some control over are:

1. Bake an abundance of pretty cakes
2. Try a new recipe each week
3. Do something creative each day
4. Blog & Journal
5. Get outside more
6. Update my wardrobe
7. Get pro make-up advice and products
8. Take time to take care of myself
9. write movie reviews
10. Write Ollie the owl books
11. Take zumba classes
12. Study film business
13. Buy an album from a new music artist each month
14. Read an overview of American history
15. Read a novel for fun.
16. Put together my wall of photos.
17. Buy plastic boxes to organize my stuff again
18. Get a pet
19. Buy a movie theatre subscription
20. Loose 7lbs
21. Explore England.
22. Get contacts and new glasses
23. Have more flowers in my life
24. Move closer to my dreams

There you have it my friends. What are you resolving to do, change, include in your lives this year?

Peace. S.

Resolve #23.

Resolve

2011-01-18T17:00:00.001Z

- verb (used with object)
1.
to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something): I have resolved that I shall live to the full.

Origin: 1325–75; ME resolven (v.) < L resolvere to unfasten, loosen, release, equiv. to re- re- + solvere to loosen; see solveIt is still January so the prerequisite blog on New Years Resolutions is still valid, if a little tardy. Blogging, as you may have noticed, hasn't been high on the agenda recently. But then neither have most of the things that are important to me. Which begs the question: why do things that are important to Sarah Bainbridge not get on the agenda of Sarah Bainbridge?If I can't live my life by what is important to me, then who will? I am not being truly me. I miss out on the joys of my heart and you miss out on me. So I'm resolved (again) to put all that life coaching and life experience into practice. I am resolving once more to do what is in my heart to do and be the leading lady in my life.Of course, the practical necessities of life need to still be competed. But, there has to be space in my life for living. If not life is merely a series of chores is it not? I just need a little resolve...New Yesrs Resolutions get a bad wrap. But that's when the goals are linked to performance and failure to guilt. We have arisen in revolt against the pressure and guilt inducement of the NYR. We have burnt them like books; defiant. Columnists have declared 'No shan't!' like petulant teenagers and felt smug about their own defiance and resistance to the ideological controls of the proletariat...Well maybe not, but a distant, deliberate, lack of resolve has been duly noted. Thing is, when we lack resolve to be ourselves, to fully live and overflow, we are not resolving to be free from resolutions, but rather determining our own constraints. I'm resolving to embrace resolve again. To fight to be me and fully me. To win the prize of a life fully lived. To know that these little important things are all important parts of me. I think a smattering of NYR may be a little step in the right direction. Resolutions are opportunities to make happen what we dream of. Little dreams, big dreams, dreams that float like mobiles over our cribs, waiting to be grasped. So here goes, in the year of dreams come true, what will I resolve to welcome into my life?

Leaving La La Land

2010-08-05T07:28:00.002Z

August is here. The month in which I leave America indefinitely has arrived. Will it be forever is the question in my head. Will it be a short reprieve or the end of an affair. What do you do when your great love is a state and your love in unrequited? Do the normal fixes work? Time, alcohol, shopping, chocolate, new hair style? I don’t know but I know I will need help.

Today I was mostly blissfully unaware that it was my last day in LA, a god style mercy because he knows my penchant for the nostalgic and melodramatic and the whole day would have been a lot worse if I had looked at everything “for the last time”. But I discovered in telling Angie (who I spent the afternoon innocuously running errands around IKEA and Lowes) that I was leaving Thursday and she told me that ‘that’s tomorrow’. I realised I’M LEAVING TOMORROW!!! My thoughts flashed to my host family and the puppies and that I want more time with them. I thought of the special moments I’ve wanted to repeat and thought I would have a chance to.

Something rather wonderful happened on my return home. I realised I had Athalia’s rug in my car and I wanted to return it to her so I pulled over and found out where she was and drove to meet her in east Hollywood. The Basilea girls where there and they prayed for me. Athalia nailed it, praying that I would feel the father’s presense and love for me. That I wouldn’t have a broken heart or broken dreams, but that I would know that this is not a full stop or the end of the story but just a part of a continued story of God making His promises happen in my life – so to wrestle with Him and embrace the journey.

I cried. They hugged. I knew it was true and I needed to let go. So there we stood in front of a bar on Hollywood Blvd with my heart breaking and my dreams fragile in my hand. Weeping, I knew the truth in her words – this all comes back to trusting Papa. Trusting him with my greatest love – the USA and my greatest dream – Hollywood. What is my choice when it looks like I have no choice? What is my belief when it all looks over? When I am forced to leave this place and this dream – Hollywood – what do I think? Will I believe that a comeback is possible or will I believe that it’s over before it started.

What a prayer with such friends, in the place of my dreams.

I said my goodbyes and got back in my trusted stead and just started to cry again as I drove through the bright lights of Hollywood Blvd, back ‘home’ for the last night. It was good to just release the complex emotions that had been circulating somewhere inside of me for a week or two. Wailing is good, when Papa is right there with you.

I suddenly felt like putting the radio on and this song came on: Dreams by Van Halen. I’d never heard it before.

This is what I heard:

Standin' on broken dreams Never losin' sight, ah Well just spread your wings   We'll get higher and higher Straight up we'll climb We'll get higher and higher Leave it all behind   So baby dry your eyes Save all the tears you've cried Oh, that's what dreams are made of 'Cause we belong in a world that must be strong Oh, that's what dreams are made of.

I knew I was entering a new season. I am about to grow up and start putting a little fight in for my dreams. This is not the time to sit back anymore and let what will be will be. It is a season to take what I learned about rest and trust and being a little girl and melding it into the kind of personality that has backbone and strength and tenacity. The kind of woman that I was born to be, the kind of woman who can not just work in Hollywood, but rock it.

The missing link

2010-08-05T07:27:00.001Z

Please read 'the story so far' for the missing and really essential part of my story that fits in somewhere here :)

Trust Me

2009-03-26T17:51:00.002Z

For quite some time, everywhere I looked I would see the number 11:11. I saw "ones" everywhere. They would appear on clocks, timetables, radios, photographs, receipts, and hotel room doors. I would glance at the clock on my phone only once or twice a day, and if the time wasn’t 11:11, it would be 1:11 or 11:01. It could have been a coincidence, but somehow I knew that it wasn’t.

Whenever I asked God what it meant, I would only get a smile in return. I happened to be in one of the most difficult seasons of my life, and every time I saw 11:11, it reminded me that He was here with me, and that was all I needed. Sometimes seeing the number would make me laugh out loud; sometimes it would make me cry. It never failed, however, to move my heart and bring my focus back to the reality that God is good and His promises are true for my life.

One day during this time, I walked into the bathroom at my parent’s home in Southern England. Some poor, unsuspecting male in the family had left the toilet seat up. I was livid. So furious, in fact, that even in my state of blind rage I could see that my anger was vastly out of proportion to the situation at hand.

I immediately looked heavenward and asked Papa what was going on. Why was I so angry? The answer came back: “Because you ARE angry.”

As I heard His words, I had the startling realization that I had been feeling constantly angry for a long time. I asked Him why and His answer stunned me. “You are angry with me, because your life hasn’t worked out the way you thought it would.” I was incredulous. After all, wasn’t He my closest friend and constant support through this dark season? Yet, at the same time, I knew it was true. I was undone. The toilet seat was not the object of my pain; my loss of trust in God was.

Sarah in Genesis has long been my hero, so when I finally found my 11:11 in the book of Hebrews, I was captured by the simplicity and power found in this statement about faith:
"For [Sarah] considered Him faithful who had promised."

Faithfulness is the source of faith. A promise has only as much value as the person making it. In evaluating his words to us, we are actually judging whether or not we believe that God is trustworthy. Faith is not spelt R-I-S-K. It is spelt T-R-U-S-T. Unless, of course, you consider God to be a risky bet.

Every promise and dream for your life is anchored in the level of trust you have in God. "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." It is our knowledge of His faithfulness that gives us assurance of the promises He has made. This is faith: judging Him faithful who has promised.

If we do not have faith in Him, our belief in His promises are based on what we can currently see happening around us. This, as I experienced, often results in our feeling as though the carpet has been pulled out from under our feet. Faith is essential because in the day when you cannot see the promises for your life, your trust in Him has to be your guarantee. We must have ‘the conviction of things unseen.’

When trust is real in your heart, hope is never deferred. Your hope for the promises He has spoken to you is secured in who He is, not your circumstances. This is faith. We can have confidence in a promise before we see it become a reality, because the one who has made the promise is the ultimate assurance.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a promise realised is the tree of life.
It is not the absence of fulfilled promises that ‘makes the heart sick,’ but when hope itself is deferred. It is easy to be hope-full continually when you trust the one that promises good things. We realise His promises are assured and it is our tree of life.

life

2009-03-16T15:54:00.001Z

Sweet Alabama

2009-01-10T19:50:00.005Z

I had the awesome privilege to travel to Alabama with some giants in the Kingdom this week. It was amazing.

Hundreds got healed and I got to participate in a bunch :) Thank you for praying - it was a great trip and I grew a lot - thank you!!

Releasing the rhema word
Two nights in a row i gave a word of knowledge from the front, but when the people responded they found they were already healed as the word was released - they didn't even give me a chance to pray for them!! ha ha! I love it!!

The first was a young man from Atlanta with 3 broken lumber vertebrae who had a metel rod in his back holding it rigid. He was not only completely healed on the spot, but also had full mobility - it will be interesting to hear what happened to that rod!

The 2nd were a group of people with a specific fracture in the base of their toe(s). Several of these were healed when the word was released. Bill Johnson (who was leading the trip) sensed this and paused to ask them before we continued. They tested it out and several were healed already!

At school we are taught to take notice of coincidences because they are oftentimes the language of the spirit. I had never seen people healed just by me releasing a word of knowledge and then I had two in a row. I'm taking note and learning that what we say and release has creative power!

Hip Restored

I also prayed for a pastor who was scheduled for a right hip replacement within two weeks. She had no cartilage and her hip was bone on bone (very painful!!). We prayed and then asked her to test it out by doing things she couldn't do before. First she put on her sock, then she walked, then she ran and then she ran up and down stairs!! We eventually told her she could stop, but she cried saying "No!! I get to do this now!!" This was a really encouraging miracle for me as it's something I'm contending for with a family member. Since there is creative power in telling the testimony - maybe this will be the day!!

Ovarian Cysts Dissolved

I had the privilege of praying for a young woman who had ovarian cysts on her left side. One cyst was so big that she could feel it with her hand and it was extremely painful. As we prayed she felt it dissolve and could no longer feel it with her fingers or feel any pain!! God is so cool!! She is going to get the medical results this week :)

New Website and Itinerary

Bill has a new website - it's awesomely interactive!! It was created to resource people hungry for the Kingdom. Please go and check it out at http://www.bjm.org Our trip is blogged on there :) Bill is also coming to your area of the world: if you want to access more of the Kingdom, I really recommend you go. My life has never been the same since I heard him teach:

Feb 2 - 4
New Wine Cymru - On Earth as it is in Heaven
City Temple
Cardiff, Wales
www.flamesoffire.co.uk/news_and_events/bill_johnson.php
April 22 - 25
United Kingdom Healing School with Randy Clark
Southampton, United Kingdom
www.globalawakening.com

April 28 - 30
New Wine Stockholm
Stockholm, Sweden
new-wine.org/countries/Sweden.htm

Blessings!
Sarah XX

2008-12-28T03:34:00.001Z

The days preceding a new year are a time to dream.

Every year, well all year actually, I set up new rules for myself and new demands for my time and character. Setting goals is good. Setting rules is not. Somehow rules kill you whereas goals bring life.

For a rule-setter, goal-getter type like myself, New Years Resolutions used to provide an excellent opportunity to set even more self-imposed laws, which I endeavoured to keep, but more often missed.

Years ago I regularly watched the kids for the pastors of a rural church in England. They had a rule for their kids: ‘No New Years Resolutions’. A rule that banned rules; Interesting.

Perturbed at the prospect of a missed rule-setting-opportunity, I enquired about why such a decision. The answer surprised me. ‘Laws set people up to fail’ the pastor’s wife explained. They don’t come with the grace to carry them out, just pressure and disappointment. So the kids were banned from setting new years rules. What was also true of this family was that they were highly disciplined, highly creative and highly relational. Lack of laws didn’t equate lack of achievement; rather it gave space for it. Relationship and encouragement accomplished what rules couldn’t.

Grace like this is a funny substance. It is freedom. Freedom to not be controlled by rules. It is rest. The rest to never strive. It is passion. Passion that drives you further. It is power. The power to achieve all things. It is both a letting go and a reaching higher.

I have been learning the joys of living in graceland. It’s a somewhat magical place, where love not law is the law of the land. Easy you may think? But when you have found the ability to reach for the stars you have a new-found responsibility to pluck them out of the sky. The sky is no limit in graceland. To who much is given, much is required. But these requirements are not like the demands of law set before, these requirements are to dream bigger and go further. Because, as the laws fade, so do the natural laws. Nothing is impossible in graceland. Therefore, dream bigger, love deeper, forgive greater and go further than you ever thought possible.

Vision gives pain a purpose. If your New Years Resolution is to loose weight because you had one to many minced pies this Christmas, your focus is on your failure to keep in shape. When the pain of working out happens, all you can see is your out-of-shape (and now sweaty, out-of-breath) body staring back at you in the mirror. If instead you dream of being fit, in-shape and healthy enough to run into old age. Then you have a vision that is unperturbed by pain. The pain is just a sign of a step in the right direction, rather than proof that you really are out-of-shape. Lack of vision is subtle, but a proven deal breaker in the New Years Resolution stakes. Instead you can dream into being the person you want to be.

So tired of laws that lead to failure? Start to dream and dream bigger. If you can achieve your dream, then it is too small. The glory of the young is that they are too inexperienced to know that their dreams are impossible, so they do them anyway. Realise that nothing is impossible. Write down your dreams and don’t put them off until tomorrow. I have dreams and visions for my life that I’ve written down in a list. It is pinned to my bathroom wall and everyday I remind my day about my dreams. Speak to your day and speak to your self. It’s not a sign of madness, but of greatness to declare your destiny.

Dream big. This is not the season to devise new laws or resolutions. It’s the season to dream new dreams. What does 2009 look like in your dreams? What is your life dream and how will 2009 be a part of that? If you want to stop human trafficking how will your dreams for yourself in 2009 support your life dream? What were the dreams that you traded in as a child for laws and impossibility? Bring them out of the closet again. Fulfilled all your dreams? Then you need to dream again and dream bigger, further and always with a level of impossibility.

There always has to be some impossible situation in your hand. Otherwise how will there ever be miracles?

Stories of Jesus

2008-12-27T08:06:00.000Z

Friends and Countrymen!

As we go after the King and His Kingdom together I wanted to send each of you my love for this Christmas and New Year! I am excited by the day we live in and the joy that is ours. God is so good!! Have a ton of fun over the holidays and an awesome 2009! The mince pies are made, the brandy butter is chillin and I'm excited!

Something else to get happy about...

Miracles

This week I got the opportunity to pray for a young woman who had arthritis in her wrist and hand. Now arthritis often feels to me like it comes with fear attached and I get angry. There was something there that my spirit reacted against. I felt that there was a spirit attached with this one, not that the woman had done anything wrong, but her body was under attack.

I prayed for a short time just simply binding the arthritis and releasing strength and healing. I asked her to test it out and she did! Big time! All the pain had gone! We praised Jesus big time too! She was so stoked and shocked, as it was something she had been contending for for a long time.

Yey Jesus is the King!!

I am going on a trip to Alabama with Bill and his team on the 2nd January. Please pray for our travels and that God would have His way there. Expect some stories! Remember that we all share in the inheritance of each-others encounters with God, because the 'testimony (stories) of Jesus, IS the Spirit of prophecy'. In other-words, testimonies release the prophetic power to do it again! Sounds good :)

Merry Christmas!

Much love!

Sarah

heal, elbow, cancer

2008-12-16T10:08:00.003Z

Yesterday I went to my seat in-between Sunday morning services. The lady in the row behind me looked quizzically at me and asked me where I was from, not my name. I told her and she got very excited. She said ‘I thought it was you! I’ve been looking for you since September!’. I guess the Englishness is my defining feature!

Heal Healed
She went on to tell me how I had prayed for her heal one Sunday morning in late September. I remembered her and remembered how the presence of God had been so strong and sweet while we prayed. She told me that though she could feel things happening inside her foot, the pain had not left when I prayed that day, when she woke up the next day it was completely gone and hadn’t returned since then. She had had excruciating shooting pain in her heal for one and a half years up until then. We were both very happy!!! She was so moved by Jesus healing her – it was so special. It reminded me that when we pray we should never be discouraged if we don’t see it happen before our eyes, because we’ve prayed – something has to happen!!! Even if it’s that night while they sleep.

Elbow Healed
So then she told me that her left elbow was in a lot of pain too. She couldn’t lift a cup of coffee with it because it hurt too much. She wanted me to pray for it right then and there and I was more than happy to. I prayed and the pain lessened so much that when she tested by pushing strongly against my hand it didn’t hurt at all! She moved it around and there was still a slight twinge so we prayed again. Struck by the power and passion of God she received her healing right then with tears rolling down her cheeks. I was overcome by the sweetness of God.

Miracles never get old for me. Each time I am struck by the love and power of our God who cares so much about our lives. It’s such a privilege to pray ‘Your Kingdom come!’ and watch what happens. I love Him!

Cancer Healed
It’s so important to pray. I realise over and over how much we carry the key to heaven in our hands. The other day a classmate of mine found his colleague upset at work. He had previously released the presence of God on this guy, a non-Christian. It had been an amazing experience for the guy who had felt electricity running into him during the encounter at the store where they both work. So when my classmate asked him what was wrong he was really open and said that his grandmother had been diagnosed with serious cancer. He was devastated by the prognosis that she had only weeks to live. My classmate was deeply moved with compassion and so asked if he could pray. His colleague jumped at the chance, so right there outside the door of the shop they prayed – releasing life into the lady’s body. Within a week the doctors report came back that the grandmother was completely clear of cancer after no treatment. The doctors were astonished. We were very happy. It was a sweet moment when he told us the news in class during testimony time. We all leapt to our feet, shouting and cheering – this is what we live for!

Miracles in Fremont

2008-11-26T16:11:00.004Z

I traveled to Fremont at the weekend (yes my car made it!!!) with a team of 4 and Eric and Candice Johnson. We had the most fun trip and were totally spoilt by Harvest House Church there.

Sunday morning Candice spoke on Trust and Distrust and Eric spoke on stewarding Favor. it was really good - and we had to practice receiving favor all weekend. I have a ways to go.

We opened up the meeting to word of knowledge call outs for healing needs and prayed for the the sick with the church. One local guy i was praying for had pain in his right elbow for 30 years since he dislocated his shoulder and broke his arm as a child. it was particularly bad that day and he had been complaining to his wife about the pain. We prayed and half the pain left the elbow, but of course we pray again (much to his bewilderment).

THe man started rotating his arm so that they were both faced palm upwards and he kept repeating over and over and over again "this is so weird, this is so weird". I asked him what was weird and he told me that he hadn't been able to rotate his right arm at all for those 30 years...and of course all 100% of the pin had gone! I love my God!

'My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, 5so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.' 1 Cor 2

In the evening Eric taught in their school of supernatural ministry - an offshoot of BSSM. It was great. He taught on having the highest honor for the presence of God. He told the story of how a well known revivalist held a dinner with lots of leaders there to meet with him and how he felt the Spirit show up and he knew that he needed to go be alone with God. without hesitation he excused himself from the meeting and went to his hotel where he had an encounter with God.

It was a good teaching. We then opened up the meeting for the team (i.e. me) to prophesy from the front. Happily I already had one loaded as god had spoken to me in my nap to "tell john that he is worthy" I knew that john was thinking of starting a new venture in life or business and needed God's encouragement. So i took the microphone first and asked "is there anyone here called John?". Happily there was and there was only one. He got rocked. I thought it could be hard after that but they just flowed as the team pointed people out and prophesied life and grace into them. It was so sweet.

What a day we live in that God shows up and people get changed forever.

Christmas Gifts

2008-11-15T23:42:00.001Z

PRAY NOW!

2008-11-03T18:36:00.002Z

Please pray for the USA this week. These elections will not only determine the next president but also 3 supreme court judges and the future of America for the next 30 years. This entire generation will be effected by what people vote this week. Please Pray.

We have two candidates with many different policies covering many different issues. But really there is only one issue. When you have babies killed by the million there is only one issue. We have to see the end of child abortion in the USA. Please pray so that every child conceived with a destiny upon their life, will get the choice to live. We need them, they are part of the kingdom and reflect a part of God that we don’t see without them. We thought Hitler was wrong with 6 million deaths, and Stalin with 30 million, what will we say about the 49 million babies in America since 1973? If you would stand for the Jews, you need to stand for the children.

Pray for California for ‘where she goes the nation will go’ and I believe the world will go. There are several propositions to vote upon in California right now on gay marriage. Pray.

God sets the rulers to rule under him according to what we pray. So Pray. Right now Pray. Pray as if another 49 million children’s lives are on the line. Because they are.

You can read my article here

Watch

2008-10-22T17:04:00.002Z

Watchmen on the Walls

We are called to extend our Kingdom's culture until the knowledge of the glory of the Lord covers the earth. We are not called to stand by as truth and conscience loose definition and whilst another 70 million babies are mown down in the UK or another 400 million in the USA.

At some point who you are and what you believe must effect how you live and how you vote.

Living Generously August e-newsletter

2008-08-07T16:41:00.000Z

Living Generously e-newsletter

happy reading ;)

news from LG

2008-07-17T14:01:00.001Z

www.livinggenerously.com

alternative gifts

ngo's

articles

gift lists

news

wedding lists

I LOVE CHURCH. I HATE CANCER.

2008-06-29T19:30:00.003Z

I love my church - these are all the people just in 2nd service who have been healed of cancer.

and this is them passing the healing along. Because freely they have received and freely they give.

The kingdom is all about this flow - everything we get, we get to give away. it's a privilege and requirement for increase :) When we do something with what we've been given we are like the guy with the talents who invested what he was given and so was given more.

I Hate cancer and God hates cancer. He never uses it. He never partners with it. He never starts it. and he never prolongs it. He hates it like He hates sin. which is why we can always pray with confidence knowing He wants it gone and that He paid a high price to destroy it.

So lets establish the freedom He paid so much for :)

love ME

2008-06-07T12:56:00.002Z

Do you think me cheesey whan I tell you ‘love is all we need’? When the Beetles and the Bible say the same thing it’s time to listen. Best selling band and best selling book, 20th century to 1st century, love revolution to love revolution. Love is all we need. I believe.

If I speak in the languages of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing…And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

It was for love of my brother that I stood at his wedding and read these words, my knees visibly knocking and my hands sweating. But, knowing that I would be nervous, I had read though the words a million times so that I wouldn’t stutter and stumble. But what I did instead was fall in love with these love letters. And how could I stumble? They are like poetry running off the tongue, language of angels indeed. But, amongst theses lovely lines is some age-old truth that can shock my cold heart to the bone: Whatever we do in life, if we have not love, it is all for nothing, for it will not remain.

Years ago, in southern France an electrical storm drove us into the shelter of the great and ancient arches of the Pont du Gard, older than both the Beatles and the Bible. With lightning dropping around us I asked my ever-wise mother if we should move to somewhere less obvious for a strike. And with ever-increasing wisdom she replied ‘it’s been here for 2000 years and probably encountered a few lightning storms in its time’. It set me thinking, buildings feel immortal, while we like shadows come and go. But, the truth is the opposite. While the material things we see look more enduring, it is the insubstantial element of love that is powerful and lasts forever.

When you love, the effects are eternal, passed from one person to another, from generation to generation. Recently someone told me to write a list of all the people who had ever showed me love or kindness. As the list trailed off the page, I realised those deposits of love make me who I am and make my life possible and make me be able to love. Relational generosity is the soundest investment of them all.

Over the next few weeks I am going to explore a few ideas surrounding relational generosity. Otherwise spelt LOVE. Loving myself, finding love, love for them, and giving love.

Part One:love ME

Like charity, love starts at home, and I don’t mean your house. I mean you. The person who does not love themselves is a nightmare for everyone around them. After all, you can’t give away what you don’t have. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t honestly love the people around you. We can do our best, but we are operating out of lack. At some point we are going to love people the way we love ourselves, and if we don’t love ourselves, we can’t love them. My friend’s fiancé once told her that it was his ambition in life to love her as much as she did. She promptly replied that it was in his best interest that she loves herself, because we love others as we love ourselves. It’s true. We’ve all seen how a damaged person damages. An insecure person creates insecurity. A hurt person hurts. The greatest thing you can do for people around you, is to love you.

Identity is the best place to start. To have relationship we have to let people really know us. Intimacy is ‘into me you see’. If we don’t like who we are or don’t know who we are, we won’t let anyone else see who we are. Many many people (if not all of us) have taken some knocks in life that can rock their identity and their intrinsic value. When we don’t feel valuable we feel vulnerable and open to attack. We expect attack. Someone who is insecure is defensive; and therefore offensive. They create insecurity in their environment and trigger every other insecurity around them. Equalling relational (or unrelational) mess. We have to love ourselves enough to let them see the real us.

Another friend of mine was given £15 000 a few years ago by a man he didn’t even know very well. Instead of being friendly to this guy, my friend went to great lengths to avoid him. It got so ridiculous that he realized there was a problem, and he realised the problem was him. He felt unworthy of £15 000 and thought if the man got to know him he would realise this too and regret the gift. At some point we need to believe L’Oreal and know that we are worth it, not because L’Oreal says so, but because every human who walks this globe is worthy and wonderfully made. I love the Dove adverts that promote the message that every size and shape is beautiful. It’s the same with our inside – we are all good. ‘I am lovely’ is the biggest thing we can realise, so that we can become the greatest gift to give away.

Fear of Sat Nav?

2008-06-05T10:24:00.003Z

When you find yourself feeling bad for disobeying your Sat-Nav-lady, you know there is a problem.

It’s true, I was finding that I felt guilty every time I took another route to the one she proposed and was all at peace when my car was following her directions. I was trying to people please my Sat Nav. Jesus we have a problem.

What’s weird is that last year I really got free of needing people’s approval and this year I measurably got better at discounting what people think of me in exchange for taking all that Papa God thinks of me. To such an extent that I risk being rude. I need more love to guide me, because the fear of man no longer does.

But as with all lessons there are little tests to see how we’re doing. 18 months ago I stopped doing my chores (passed test of people pleasing, failed test of honour). 12 months ago I got seriously nervous around leaders I respected (failed people pleasing, failed doing stupid things as a result of people pleasing). 6 months ago momentarily wobbled by someone not liking me but regained composure when I knew fathers’ love (failed fear of man, passed fear of man). 1 month ago knew who my daddy was and didn’t get seriously nervous around leaders I respected (passed fear of man, passed being able to do stupid things because I can). So I was slowly progressing until the Tom Tom regression.

The answer? Hmm not sure I have one. I think I am doing well on not caring what ‘they’ think, but not so well on being free to do what I think. Why do I need to be told what to do when the master of the universe and my destiny walks with me and whispers to me?

Not that we don’t listen to advice, hear the prophetic voice through others or honour people with obedience when appropriate. But your Sat Nav? Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. It’s true. Not just freedom in His direction over peoples, but freedom in your direction over peoples, even, dare I say it, over your Sat Nav.

Some things just need practicing I guess. I may take the car out soon and drive in endless opposite directions…where, I wonder, will I end up...?

Burma Cyclone

2008-05-27T10:17:00.001Z

A letter from a friend in Burma:

“The victims of this disaster need help now. For the many thousands who have died, this tragedy is over. But for the men, women, and children of southern Burma who have lost their homes, livelihood and in many cases, their loved ones, it has really only just begun. We at Partners are doing all we can to ensure the help we send is received by those who desperately need it” (Steve Gumaer, Founder and Director of Partners Relief and Development).
More than fifty years of civil war has left Burma one of the poorest counties in the world. The people of Burma have faced continued hardship

s since the show-elections of 1990, when the official results were overturned and the opposition imprisoned. Before the cyclone hit, over 2 million people had been displaced by ethnic cleansing - either hiding in the jungles or escaped over the border as refugees. The tragedy of Cyclone Nargis has only added to an already desperate situation.

The current estimates from the UN are that over 100,000 people will have perished both in the storm itself and because of the hold up on help reaching those who need it. Christian Aid has reported that outbreaks of malaria and cholera are occurring in the Delta region where hundreds of villages are still underwater. Yet because of internal insecurity, help is still not reaching the people and it’s costing lives.

Over the years Partners has built up relationships with individuals and groups inside Burma who are now able to assist getting funding and supplies to survivors who are still living in dire conditions. Partners is able to get to places that large NGO’s cannot go and is using it’s extensive experience to deliver targeted life-saving resources, equipment, food and care to the worst affected areas. Working closely with Free Burma Rangers and The Haven Foundation, they are continually assessing the situation and responding as best they can with the resources they have.

So far Partners have been able to get 15,000lbs of nutritional supplements and 100 rolls of plastic sheeting inside. They have also been able to channel funding to their co-workers inside Burma to enable them to purchase supplies to send to the Delta region. Partners are also arranging the delivery of water purification systems that will fight dehydration and the diseases that are rapidly spreading.

These guys are amazing and we're helping them out at Living Generously to raise funds - if you want to give you can here:

Give Today

www.livinggenerously.com

One thing.

2008-05-17T13:51:00.005Z

I would rather run with a couple of burning ones, than thousands of the content.

It has to be first about seeking the Kingdom. All the other things will be added. The point is, it’s HIM we so desperately, crazily, passionately pursue. It’s the fullness of the Kingdom that’s real, that’s desperately needed by the desperate, by the hungry. It’s His glory. His presence, his never-ending ever increasing presence.

I really don’t care about anything else. Athough I have a feeling that when He becomes our everything, everything else will be added. But even if it isn’t, if I get HIM in the exchange, I don’t care.

We have to get so ruined for anything else, we have to act as if we are as hungry as we are.

No price is too high, no distance too far, no shame too great to get more of God. If you’re hungry, you’ll go get food.

“There is something glorious about having no options. I only have one option: to do what He said. “But what if we lose a bunch of people?” you may ask. Well they’re not ours to keep. Our esteem is not built upon the size of the local church, it’s built by doing what He said to do. All the other stuff doesn’t last.

Numbers have to be important first for them to impact you. They don’t impact you if they are not in the value system. When you say ‘God I want more of you at any cost’ you’ve already decided that numbers don’t matter if you get Him in the exchange.”

Desire Lost

2008-04-04T10:29:00.003Z

How quickly dost the signs of love pale
And sweet nothings, fade to nothing
Those hints at epic romance, become loose change
Lost without thought
And valued as no value.

Your love still burns, but I see only embers
Your heart still turns, but I see only shadows
What was once bold, I count as lost
Not seen to mine eye
Or my mind
Or my heart

But hope holds me.
That when all is cold and faded
A new light shall spark
And you shall find a new way to romance this fickle heart
Your ways are higher than my ebbing interest
And your love is stronger than my weakness

And so soon and suddenly we will sour together
Onto a mountain top
Higher than before
We will be swept up in each other
And my passion will come back to the fore
Not hidden under a bowl but blazing
Joining your fire with my fire

This, this is my desire.

The Story Behind Generosity

2008-03-26T15:21:00.001Z

Boxing day 2004. Cosied up in a country Pub in Dorset, England, I was unaware of the horror that was unfolding thousands of miles away. I was also unaware that the Boxing Day Tsunami was going to change my life.

Eight months later, I found myself in South East India. Overnight I became mom to six children and began living 600 meters away from the ocean that killed their parents. Every morning I would rise with the rising temperature, go out onto the roof and gaze over the ocean, always placid as the sunrise reflected like a burning road to the east.

5000 miles away in England, Pete Worthington (as usual) was working on a plan to take over the world. Eight months previously, Pete, surrounded by presents, looked on at the enormous devastation and knew he had to do something. But Pete wasn’t just moved to help these people, he was gripped by a need bigger than the tsunami, he knew something in him needed to live differently, not just giving in this moment of disaster, but day in day out. A life lived to bring life.

Pete started to dream of what a person with a core value of big-heartedness would look like. What would happen if we swapped our investment in the material and the self-help, and replaced it by pouring ourselves into the things that don’t tarnish.

‘Three things will last forever - faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these is love.’

Determined to shift his lifestyle to match up with the person he wanted to be, Pete applied who he was (web-site geek, 24-7 leader and unstoppable dreamer) to the situation and the Living Generously concept was born.

Pete envisioned an online portal where people can connect with situations all around the world. Rather than feeling disempowered by the enormity of need, a way people could turn their prayer into action and invest directly into specific situations, knowing that their help would achieve breakthrough whether it was an operation, a water-well or housing for an orphan. Pete set up the site in such a way that people could give to different things on any given day, that they could receive the projects as gifts at Christmas or buy them as birthday presents. It didn’t really matter, it was just all about giving opportunity for ongoing generosity.

Yet, as we embarked on our generous journey, we discovered more and more that giving financially was just an expression of the generous soul. Being generous was greater than giving generously or doing generous things. After all, we are human beings, not human doings. The core value of generosity permeates every part of a persons’ life. It’s about whom we are, being generous with every part of ourselves. Lives overflowing relationally, ecologically and with our time. A life turned inside outwards.

Like many before me, on my return from the sub-continent, I discovered what I had suspected for some time, that poverty runs deeper than the money in your pocket. I found that the physical poverty of the South was matched only by the personal poverty of the West. Poverty, I believe, begins in a person’s heart. By investing ourselves in the perishable, we had made our own lives small and impoverished. The disillusion of materialism, the lack of a cause that’s bigger than ourselves and the loss of social connection (insular living) makes people insignificant and takes away their courage. The resulting apathy - in a time that needs heroes - makes people small in a land of giants (Numbers 13:32-33).

‘Comfortable makes cowards of us all’ Danny silk

We need to care because caring rescues us. In living a life of radical generosity, I had as much to gain as anyone. I’m now not surprised that research has found that people who give of themselves are ‘happier, healthier, richer’ (Arthur Brookes). That’s what God’s been telling us all along: ‘It’s better to give than receive’.

All Living Generously did was recognise the ‘signs of the times’, and sought to give voice to a stirring that is occurring in the West.

‘There is a young generation that couldn’t care less about money and couldn’t careless about names.’ Lou Engle

Being a voice for the cry of a generation only requires a belief that you can affect it. People are designed to be significant, free, creative and heroic like their Father.

So, our passion became twofold. We wanted to continue seeing the world impacted by generosity, but we also wanted to see people impacted themselves by being generous. It is important after decades of materialism, postmodernism and dis-couragement to create community and (en)couragement for the hosts of people out there who knew they were made to matter.

‘All men die, but not all men truly live.’ BraveHeart

And to me, it’s all about really living…

Read the full article at 24-7 Prayer

24-7 Prayer Bristol

2008-03-11T16:05:00.002Z

Bristol has long felt a little bereft of 24-7 community. We have always needed to travel to gatherings or iChat our way into the presence of ‘our people’. That was until Monday."

"I had heard underground rumours that there were 24-7 rumblings starting in the city. Random connections and conversations were taking place between people I did not know. Out of the rumblings came a tour date in Bristol, a meeting point, a dot on the map.

So on Monday night, I drove into the dodgy part of town in my car that looked quite at home there. I parked up on a deserted street outside a very dubious looking ‘massage parlour’ and headed into the unpretentious redbrick building across the street.

Inside, I was greeted by a buzz of noise and bustle. A bunch of friendly, smiley twenty-somethings ushered us into the rather flashy church meeting room that looked more like Hillsongs than 24-7 Prayer. The lighting guys played with their exciting roving stage lights, while we became increasingly surprised as more and more people came through the doors.

The night kicked off with some familiar faces, Jude Smith, Pete Ward and a bunch of Transit guys I vaguely recognised from the last Feast. It was so good to see our 24-7 people on our soil. There was something strategic and confirming about the team being here and drawing all us random ones together.

We worshipped together and the presence of God was so sweet in the room that I could have stayed there forever. People grabbed the mic’s and began to pray and suddenly we weren’t strangers anymore. Sweet prayers of thanks and mighty prayers of fire and Kingdom come in Bristol as it is in Heaven. Amen!

It was sometime after Phil Togwell began to speak, that I realised he was ‘preaching’ his message. It felt more like a fireside chat where we, now friends, all sat around and listened to the secrets of the Kingdom. Phil spoke about breathing in the very breath of God and exchanging dreams with the divine dreamer. That we would be so altered by our intimacy with God that we couldn’t help but alter the world around us. To me it was a sweet thing to draw together what has been separated too long. As we prayed for our city again and then left to go back into it, I knew that something had happened. Something has begun.

iTunes + jesus culture

2008-03-11T15:53:00.003Z

at last!!!! Jesus Culture Music is now available on itunes!! horay for us international types!!

1st album Everything

and the 2nd We Cry Out (without DVD)

buy it - you will not regret it, in fact you'll love me so much that you'll want to send me lots of presents. it's true.

grin ;)

Live Intimately: Live Generously

2008-02-28T12:30:00.000Z

It says that Jesus was moved by compassion to minister to the needs He saw around Him. Can you imagine if Jesus suffered from compassion fatigue? 'You know what Father; I'm done with compassion for a bit. This world is seriously needy and they used up all my kindness.'

Can you picture it? No? Well, that's what happens with us…

The Indian Ocean Tsunami saw the biggest response of global giving ever. The Pakistani earthquake, a short time later, saw one of lowest. International compassion was spent. 'One disaster at a time please', we cried! If we're called to follow Jesus, a man who welcomed children after a long day, who had time to eat with a tax collector or stop to talk to one woman when she touched the hem of his cloak. How do we remain compassionate and willing to respond?

I was in Seville for the 24-7 Feast when it occurred to me that living generously, as a response to need, is good but it's not our highest calling. Pete Greig talked of the need to get back to intimacy with the Father and Kelly Green told us of how her life of service and risk is nothing without prayer.

God took Kelly on a year walk of intimacy before she started to 'do' anything. I want the kind of prayer life that seeks after God's heart for His heart alone. A life well spent is one that dwells in the house of the Lord all the days of their life, gazing upon the beauty of the Lord and seeking Him in His temple. One thing. That's all we ever need do with our lives (Psalm 27).

Misty Edwards speaks of wasting her life on purely worshiping God; like Mary and her vase of costly perfume, pouring ourselves out on the One. The beauty of it is, is that when we pour ourselves on God, we end up smelling just like Him.

I discovered recently that people who've been married a long time, don't just pick up each-others habits and opinions but their DNA actually starts to change and they become closer genetically. Bizarre but trust me I didn't make it up. When we are intimate with God, He changes our spiritual DNA. We don't just become like Him, He starts to dwell in our every cell.

Jesus was never far from communion with Father and so He did what He saw the Father doing. He looked like the Father, He sounded like the Father, He walked like the Father and His heart beat like the Father's. The epic simplicity of intimacy with God leads us to be just like Him. He said that 'If you've seen me, you've seen the father'. I want to emulate that. After all, like Bill Johnson says:

'It's not humility to deny what Jesus exchanged with you at the cross - he got all of you and you got all of him.'

Jesus learnt from watching the Father. When I was little, I used to dance with my dad around our kitchen, my little feet on top of his, learning to waltz. But I don't just dance like my dad because I copied him, I also dance like my dad because part of him lives in me, I share his DNA. It's the same with father God, we pick up His heartbeat, His DNA, His life-blood, His character, His love and His compassion. So I pray:
Where you go I go
What you say I say
What you pray I pray
(We Believe, 2006)

I often say that I don't want to do compassion or do generous acts, I want to be compassionate and I want to be generous. If it's who I am, if it's my DNA, then I can't help being me wherever I go. I long for my compassionate response to be more than something I emotionally manufacture but something that rises from within me, powered by my relationship with the ultimate creator, healer and restorer.

you can read the full article at:
http://www.24-7prayer.com/cm/content/790

www.livinggenerously.com

When sleep is sneaky

2008-02-26T17:38:00.006Z

The last 3 nights I haven’t been able to sleep until 5am, 4am and last night 3am. I would like to think its something to do with God bringing great Revelation in the night, but it’s got more to do with my body refusing to come back to GMT. I got back from very sunny California last week, after a (yes another) trip to see my friends and family in Redding.

The first week the monsoon got sidetracked and came to visit northern California. It brought snow with it and blocking all the mountain passes into Redding and making life a little tricky for the thousands of people headed to Redding for the bi-annual Jesus Culture. The 3000 seat civic centre was sold out as was Bethel’s 1000 seat auditorium which was getting the conference over live feed. There was even an overflow for the overflow for the 700 students at Bethel this year. Sometimes it’s just great to be in the middle of thousands of young burning one’s hungry for revival in their cities and streets. I didn’t get a new kidney at this jesusculture, but that’s a good thing – I don’t want to be a 3 kidney freak!

The following 2 weeks were hitting the 70’s (yes F) and the world gleamed as only it can in spring after the rain has left the world green and lush. Me and a couple of friends made a trip to the coast to see the giant redwoods. We had the best weekend ever seeing the trees that I’ve dreamt of seeing for years (God listens to our dreams guys). They really are incredible, as is the coffee (jitter bean Mexican mocha- mmmm) and the little old towns of the coast. I also made a day trip down to San Fran, where I drove around with a car full of hippies, listening to sweet hippie tunes and finding finds in the thrift stores of the Height St district. So fun.

me inside a giant tree:
It was just so good to reconnect, see babies born (welcome to the world Jehu Aaronson!), see the miraculous (many diamonds are appearing there at the moment and people getting healed of cancer) and get healed (very painful foot injury). The mountains are still glorious, the worship still powerful, the presence still sweet, the friendships still awesome and the revelation still bring life.

Encounter Awaits You...

2008-02-20T13:40:00.002Z

I have been listening to this album for 2 weeks solid and it's amazing. I first came across Kim Walker a year and a half ago. What everyone says of her worship leading is that you step straight into an encounter with God. There are many great singers out there (and she is also awesome vocally), but few carry this kind of anointing.

This is the first album she wrote for and her songs carry the sweet presence of the secret place. They are different from the anthems of her Jesus Culture albums, but express a heart turned to God in the middle of life so sweetly. If you want to step into an encounter and find words for where you are at - get this CD (if you can - it's continually selling out! www.ibethel.com)

Encounter

2008-02-04T08:47:00.000Z

Well my 2nd Jesus Culture Encounter has come around and it was amazing again. I didn't get a new kidney this time (if you didn't hear about that story then you should find the blog on it below!) but God's presense deposited so much more this year. of course the worship was amazing and the stories of God breaking out in everyday lives, on the streets and on campus', were awesome. But it was the manifest presence of god that made the weekend so sweet. there is nothing worse than being in a fancy worship gig without getting touched by the king. BUT when Holy Spirit visits you - He is everything - your resolution, your soul mate, your father, your lover. HE is He is He is.

Sunny California is not so sunny, in fact life vests are advised!! all the passes are closed with snow and drowning is a real risk. But other than that it is so sweet to be back at my other home - it feels like i never left apart from the journey i have been on in the interluding time and the fact that 500 new students are strutting the halls of this revival centre. i am so proud of our new students - our ceiling from last year really is their floor - they are flying higher and its so powerful to see!

one couple have been finding many precious stones appearing in their home. the first one was valued at $10 k - but who can put a value on a piece of heaven?!! we have one in our house too - my housemate found it and it at the couple's house and it is beautiful perfect cut clear gem. god knows what a girl wants huh?!!

the miracles continue of course - we saw maybe 100 healed on saturday morning inc 2 people who HAD cancer!! It's a great time to be alive. It's a great time to be a revivalist - now all we have to do is wlk around and leak our God encounters :)

sx

unresolved

2008-01-20T12:26:00.000Z

I want to beg you as much as you can, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. Perhaps you do carry within yourself the possibility of shaping and forming as a particularly happy and pure way of living; train yourself to it - but take whatever comes with great trust, and if only it comes out of your own will, out of some need of your innermost being, take it upon yourself and hate nothing.

Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

2008-01-16T10:04:00.001Z

letter to a friend about a new kidney :)

2007-12-18T09:33:00.000Z

I keep forgetting to tell you an awesomely awesome story about a miracle in me!!

so...

with great suspense...

lol

k. so a few years ago i had a kidney infection in my right kidney and it wiped me out so much they took me to hospital and while i was in there getting all the tests they found that i had the infection and why it was so bad was because my left kidney was the size of a thumb nail and was only outputting 3% kidney function. they said i could live on 1 kidney but that i need to be really careful with these repeated infections because it meant i had no back up.

so a few years later, like 2007, found myself with a odd bunch of people called Bethelites in a little town in northern california. these said bethelites held a youth conference in February called duh duh duuuuh: 'ENCOUNTER'.

while at the conference fun and crazy man named todd bentley pointed into the crowd - at me - and said there was someone there who's kidneys was going to get healed and they were to stand up.

(now i had regularly told God that he could whack me anytime anywhere - i just wanted the whacking - i am foolish lol)

so i stood up infront of everyone and the moment i did i started being shaken like a doll. very cool but also just slightly embarrassing. so after quite a while of violent shaking, i stupidly tried to stop it and was pretty unsuccessful but managed at least to sit down (thinking that then no one would see - duh -not too bright)

my friend emily walker, a 2nd year from norway, Bill j and a bunch of other bethelites had been praying for me - unbeknown to me (due to excessive shakingness). they asked, of course, if i could test the healing - and of course i couldn't :( so really didn't think much more of the whole deal apart from i had truly been whacked :)

k we're getting there i promise...

take a sip of starbucks and blink lots to refresh straining eyes :)...

k the point approaches...

so for a while i have been feeling a little sick and so they ran some test and i went to the hospital for an ultrasound about 3 weeks ago to check my spleen (you will probably actually know what that is - i have no clue. grin). whilst the checked the spleen, they also asked (quite a random question i think) if there was anything else i wanted them to look at. it suddenly occurred to me that i could have them check my left kidney.

the lovely lady took a look and measured it - it was now 6.5cm (the usual being 9cm and my other measuring 12cm because it compensated the other one when i was young). she said it was smallish but that it was in the limits of normal. what she couldn't work out was how it had grown from like 2cm :)

i'm not sure if i instantly got a new 6cm kidney during Encounter 07 or whether its been miraculously growing ever since and will hit 9 cm one of these days. either way - i have 100% kidney function and two, within the range of normal, kidneys.

sweet.

k that was longer than expected - you can now finish your starbucks and i will start mine :)

love you girl xxx

S

Back from the (former) USSR

2007-12-16T12:12:00.000Z

why do all my titles have to be cheesy references to somthin or other? oh well ;)

OK news from Poland...

So i got back home yesterday afternoon having not slept for 31 hours and managed to stay awakes another 8! i am officially a staying awake genius :)

But lesser news (!!) ...

me and my 3 intrepid companions, traveled 1372 miles in a circle around western Poland visiting 7 churches. We connected with 3 out of a group of 5 church leaders that are pressing into this move of the spirit. Though great apostolic fathers they were very humble in asking us to share with them more on healing and a culture of healing. the message was simple and the ministry powerful. my favorite times were when we could teach them how to pray and make them the ministry team - that was so much fun!

we also ran healing rooms in most places we went, which i found very draining to begin with as the way the team ministered was very different to Bethel culture and we had no time out to get refilled. But after easing up our schedule and being able to operate more freely beacause we had to work more on our own (due to high demand) - it got so much easier! so thank you for your prayers - they were powerful and effective!

we saw many impossible cases which were tough but well suited to a God of the impossible. With some we didn't see an instant miracle and thats always hard, but it's a part of the deal while we are still taking the ground and has to fuel us towards greater breakthrough. However, we were working with a BIG God and so we got to see many awesome miracles :)

One of my favorite was a boy of 12 who had no arches in his feet! Just a couple of months ago i saw the first person get thier arches restored, after hearing testimonies from Bill's trip to Australia. so i just new that God could fix this boys feet. it took about 5 miniutes, first the left one got raised and then the right. The boy's mum alternated between laughing and crying as she measured the difference. Before, she couldn't get her fingers underneath the feet at all and by the end she could get three. His feet looked perfect! This boy escaped from a life of back damage and pain, all because we have a God that is good and powerful!

We also encountered a large degree of emotional healing needs from a nation that is culturised by a long and recent history of oppression, fear and horrific war. We saw many people get freed of depression, fear and anxiety (which also released many physically healings in their bodies).

on the first night we met one young girl who had been brought up in an alcoholic abusive home and recently abandoned by her parents. she couldn't look at our male team members and was scared and depressed. I simply told her what God thought of her and we got to pray for her. She was filled with the love and Spirit of God and her whole countenance and spirit changed in front of us. Over the next 3 days she spent more time on the carpet and received more of the spirit from others in the church. She was so full of joy and light it was incredible. Sweet, sweet Jesus!

Poland was awesome. I so loved getting to pray for some these sweet people. If touch is your love language then go to Poland - you will get so many big real hugs you will be giddy! I loved connecting with so many influential leaders, eager for more of God. Things are moving in Poland. 'Poland for Jesus' is growing and bringing new life to this nation. They told me that the Polish spirit is something very unique. Once they believe in something, they get completely sold out - mind, soul, spirit and body. They told me how when the pope died, 2 million Poles got in their cars and drove towards the Vatican. No one told them to and many never got there as they were stuck in traffic jams of Poles across Austria! my friend drove accross Poland that day and didn't see another car until he got to the german border, because Poland was empty of cars! I have made some friends that I hope to know forever.

The strength and devotion of the Polish spirit, once caught by the Spirit of God would be an unstoppable force.

Well guys - i love you and I'm so grateful for your prayers that sustained me.

Keep Burning,

Sarah

From Poland with Love

2007-12-09T16:50:00.000Z

Hey everyone one of you gorgeous lovely people! Thank you to everyone that is praying - your encouragement is essential!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are criss-crossing the south of Poland visiting churches from good sized modern city churches to small rural churches to groups just simply assembled in peoples homes.It's been busy- back to back meetings, healing rooms and traveling (which provides rest actually - so good). up til now there has been no space for time out with jesus - so the other day i had to opt out of a healing rooms session and go reconnect with papa. it was so good. and the schedule gets less packed out from now on so i get to plug in more.

I've found that listening to podcasts and worship etc. is really helpful - but i don't get really filled up until i can actually sing out worship myself.

I'm learning a lot about my weaknesses and strengths here - and its all good because there is no condemnation only the excitement that papa can work on those areas with me and that we go from glory to glory! I'm also learning to feel the holy spirit guide more and many new things in ministry. my main challange is operating under a ministry that is so different from Bethel culture - both theologically and practically. I really want to bless this ministry as thats what i'm here for, but at the same time can't operate quite how they do.

so i have found myself just stepping back and focusing on heaven- worshiping. making my consciousness of God bigger than whatever is infornt of us. sometimes this alone is a challange as we visit the very sickest in their homes - cancer and MS patients that are close to death, but so not dead yet! its challanging and so that time with papa is so essential.

we make good friends wherever we go. particularly in the first church there were a couple that just so blessed me it was awesome. i was given a prophetic word from them that touched on about 5 other obscure prophecies that i've recieved and what was nuts was that i was just praying a heart cry to God at the time and the word she brought was a direct response! papa knows us and hears us - wherever we are. I want to realise the opotunity i have in my hands.

with so many many people to pray for constantly i have occasionaly found myself hitting apathy or something - where i have to really stir myself to release kingdom and contend for breakthrough. we have seen some sweet sweet miracles though. one young woman was so ecstatic about her knees being healed that we heard her running and shouting and laughing outside for ages after we were praying for the next person! it was good.

one of the things we hit often here is depression- so many people are still effected by the nazi and soviet occupations - and the behviors and mentalitites that the occupations cultivated. its good to see that getting washed off and peace anf joy being given them. so good :)

right now - I'm alone (yey!!! jesus loves me) for a moment with a pc and so i get to write to you :) I'm in a tiny ex-soviet apartment which belongs to a young polish girl i met late last night - we communicate very basically - me speaking english (which she somewhat understands but can't speak) and her speaking German (which i somewhat understand but can't speak) its fun! i tried my german on her and asked her 'hast du leibe auf deutsch?' which means 'have you love in Germany' when i meant to ask her if she has ever lived (laben) in Germany! oh well :)

this is the forth place i've stayed since we arrived - some of them like palaces and some like you would imagine communist places to be like. BUT they have all been warm!!! thank you jesus!!

well i should go and make the most of papa time - love you guys!!!! thank you again for all of you who are praying and sending me such encouraging words

xxx Sarah

these will keep you going for years...

2007-11-21T22:14:00.000Z

it is not a good day to go to bed and have no blood on my sword

not all who wander are aimless

Your preparation is in direct relation to your purpose

The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible -- and achieve it, generation after generation (American Writer Pearl S. Buck 1892-1973)

The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a mother can kill
her own child, what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There
is nothing between.

It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may
live as you wish.

heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons and never changing the subject

It is a kingly act to assist the fallen.

The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving.

it is foolish to worship angels, it is equally foolish to ignore them

if i leave prayer the same way i went in, i wasn't praying, i was complaining.

on earth as it is in heaven - there is no cancer in heaven!

unbelief is anti-christ in nature.

God is good.

performing for none, living for one.

if you fear man, then you will not fear God.

you're area of greatest opposition is your area of destiny

disappointment will either push you towards breakthrough or to back away from it.

it's not humility to deny what Jesus exchanged with you at the cross - he got all of you and you got all of him.

joshua 1:5-9

If you want to be kept by God, you must keep.

Sin is a heart problem, a mistake is a mistake.

Fall

2007-11-14T15:36:00.000Z

It’s now fall in America and autumn over here. The same season with different names and different cultures. I used to think that the US didn’t really have a culture. It was just a watered down conglomerate of cultures mixed with a hefty portion of modern consumerism. But, on living there I found much culture, particularly in the season we call autumn and they call fall.

I also discovered that whilst the US lead the way in the delivery of movies, serials, and Starbucks, that they (well the ones I met) are way more traditional then us Europeans. The guys carry your shopping (I grew up thinking you had to pay people to do that), they throw ‘showers’ (not the bathroom kind – the party kind) and the woman still do crafts (the paper and scissors kind not the witch kind). Even the homes are more classically decorated. So it not surprising that on entering an autumnal home, you will find spice candles lit in the bathroom, ivy and fall leaves arranged on the mantle-piece and miniature strange looking pumpkin things arranged in clusters on any available surface.

So as I was a student of culture last year in Cali, I attempted to embrace every new experience and, of course, get to the bottom of the mini-pumpkin situation. Well that’s what I told everyone. I couldn’t let on that my independant, busy, modern woman self, was more than just intrigued by this creative domesticity. In true Stepford fashion, the candles and the crafts overtook me. Soon I found myself spending my Saturday afternoons giddily cutting and gluing and making and baking at girls ‘get-together’ parties. A glass of sparkling grape in one hand and a Hershey Kisses in the other, we talked, and chatted and dreamed like little girls or old wives. I loved it.

Though I left America, America didn’t quite leave me. So as the leaves started to turn this year, a flurry of candle buying and leave collection took place. I also visited hobby-craft (somewhere I had never been before) to buy crafty stuff and complained the whole way around that it was so limited. Oh dear. Anyway, I emerged armed with tissue paper and skeleton leaves and have proceeded to spend the last week decorating the house for ‘Fall’. A little trip to Ikea nailed the candles and table runner.

All this to say. I love Autumn and now Autumn is in my house. Sigh of contentment and much smiles of happiness. I’m all cultured.

6.7 million

2007-11-05T10:50:00.000Z

On the 27 October, 1967, the Abortion Act was officially passed in the UK Parliament. As Big Ben struck midnight it was the beginning of a day which marks the 40th Anniversary of this Act, an Act which has resulted in the loss of 6.7 million unborn lives, a figure which is rapidly approaching the total figure of the population of London and the number who died in the Holocaust.

trust = love

2007-08-06T14:32:00.000Z

pam spinosi writes:

One morning in 2003, I found it hard to pray because I awoke hit with the “realization” that God had not answered my prayer about an important issue in my life. To continue to hope seemed pointless, for I felt it was already over. Then I thought about Lazarus’ death.

In John 11:3, Jesus’ friends had asked Him to do something for them—heal their brother—expecting He would because He loved Lazarus. “If you love me, Lord, it should look like this…” Jesus purposely stayed two more days because He didn’t plan to heal Lazarus but to raise him from the dead. When He arrived, both Mary and Martha essentially said to Him the same thing: “It’s over, Lord. You were too late. You didn’t do anything.” His response to them differed notably.

He had an answer for Martha: “If you believe, you’ll see the glory of God.” He revealed something about Himself to Martha through this situation. He said, “I am the resurrection and the life.” Every time He reveals Himself or a part of His character, He precedes it with “I am.” He was showing her that He is resurrection and life. The others who came to console the family also questioned His goodness, but they, too, got to see the glory of God when Jesus raised Lazarus.

Mary, to whom He was evidently closer, received no reply from Him but a groan. He seemed to entrust Mary with the deeper—but harder—lesson. Could He have expected her not to need an explanation but to trust even in His silence and in the contradiction?

Though she loved Him, Mary’s trust was being tested. If we fear, our love is not perfect (I John 1:17, 18). What really counts is “faith that works by love” (Gal. 5:6). Fear is an enemy of both faith and love.

I have heard it said, “What you fear, you worship.” I once saw an actual statue of Baal in a museum in Carthage, Tunisia. All the gold on earth could not have compelled me to bow down and worship that ugly little thing. Yet I have given my worship to fear. How foolish! Even the Baal statue is cuter than the fiendish face of fear.

I have begun to discover fear’s little hideouts—places where I exhibit a lack of trust.

When I wallow in regret, I am not trusting in God’s redemption.
When I fume with impatience, I am not trusting in His timing.
When I grasp selfishly, I am not trusting in His provision.
When I complain, I am not trusting in His character.
When I think it’s only up to me, I am not trusting in His Fatherhood.
When I conclude all is lost and over, I am not trusting in His power, wisdom and goodness.

He is God! My default drive should be peace. Assurance. In everything, my dad works for my good. He is good—and I am loved.

During a painful time of waiting, I once said to the Lord, “Did Joseph really keep trusting you in all those years of prison?” His reply was to remind me that the “trying of our faith is more precious than gold” (I Peter 1:7), and I understood something. Maybe what Jesus had hoped to get from Mary, a woman who had lavished him with ardent, costly worship, was her trust even in inexplicable circumstances.

We are hearing reports of huge, precious jewels dropping from heaven in people’s yards. Giving Him our trust is like depositing precious jewels on His lawn! These jewels are incomparable, invaluable. He treasures them as you would a ruby from heaven. We can give God a gift of worth and beauty as exquisite as a ruby. But we can only give such a gift of trust now when we can’t see and when we don’t understand; we won’t be able to give Him that when we are face to face with Him in heaven. When we choose to trust while in the dark place, when we are unmoved by what happens—or doesn’t—in our own “four days” between the “end” (our deadline) and when Jesus shows up, we are offering an immeasurably pleasant sacrifice to our God. Pondering that thought dims the painful feelings that clamor for my attention and makes me want to pour out on Him again what I alone can give Him—my own unwavering confidence in His goodness.

God doesn’t help us give Him this gift—nor does He make us. He has given us grace, but we choose whether to use it to trust Him. A child’s drawing is always a precious gift to me. Little children all over the world have blessed me with their drawings and paintings. I treasure and save every one. The artwork would mean less to me, though, if I had held the children’s hands and directed their strokes—or even asked for their drawing. Instead, these pieces are their own creations, freely offered to me from their hearts. I love them because they come from the children. God loves the trust that comes from us. We can’t fathom how much.

Once He asked me if I would follow Him even if I didn’t get what I had hoped and waited for. Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego confessed their faith in God’s ability to deliver them but added, “But if not…we will not serve your gods” (Daniel 3:17, 18). Peter said, “Where else can we go, Lord?” (John 6:68). Like theirs, my answer was, “Yes.”

Most of us will face what Mary and Martha faced. Some situation may tempt us to think our Lord has forgotten and disappointed us. Four days had passed since Lazarus died and the sisters acquiesced to the theory that their Lord had let them down. What will you do in those days of discouragement between the death of the promise and the arrival of Jesus? Will you despair and blame Him for failing you? Or will you honor Him with your precious gift of trust and let Him reveal to you some new aspect of His glory?

It's funny.

2007-07-03T14:02:00.000Z

God has been showing me stuff about joy -

Like how if you don't keep your eyes on the joy set before you, you won't have the strength to do the things you are called to. Like how if the devil can't steal your joy, he can't take your stuff. Like how the joy OF THE LORD is my very lifeblood and it only comes from His sweet presense in my every second.

You know when He teaches you something there is generally a reason why you need it? We call it the tigger annointing - bouncing in the face of impossibility, pressure, circumstance.

So today, I'm going to bounce. Today i am going to press further in to God's sweet presense. Today I'm not letting go of the joy that's mine by inheritence. With tears in my eyes, i go deeper and make the exchange - my tears for His joy, His presense.

Because I have the same DNA as Jesus, joy is mine. Not mauufactured joy. Not religious joy. I mean REAL JOY.

That way, I'm laughing.

Struggling with Questions?

2007-06-25T19:01:00.000Z

God is Good.

This is an amazing amazing message mix that will take your confusion and point it at the truth.

Please click on the link below and liston to the track 'God is Good' - if we could really get this, it would solve so much of our heartache, struggle and confusion.

liston to this: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=135688773

Dissapointment will either make us more desperate for breakthrough or crush our beliefs. Let's make it the door to breakthrough.

much love xx

Because of Vicky

2007-06-20T14:22:00.000Z

Today is a day of sadness.

As we sat through Vicky's funeral a whole concoction of emotions were running through me. Mainly just a deep sadness for what has happened. That Vicky was not going to see her kids grow up and get married; that she wasn't going to spend decades with Rob and that she wasn't going to get to do all that she wanted to.

Yes deep sadness is where we are at. I was also sad that we hadn't reached a place of seeing her healed. You see, we don't chase after the fullness of the Kingdom just for fun. We chase after it because of days like today; because we don't want to have to do this again.

And we are getting there, and Rob and Vicky are part of it. We are so thankful for her amazing life, but angry that it was stolen from her. Despite this, she is still victorious.

This only consolidates my determination to run the race like Vicky. People come to us to find the power of Jesus and i will not stop until they do, every time.

This poem is for Vicky, because we don't want it to happen again:

I will bend my mind
And bend hell under me

I will host heaven
And dispel the darkness away from me

I will see from heights
The truth that scripture writes for me

****

I will understand the angelic commission
And foresee the demonic remission

I will be a student of heaven
And a teacher of Kingdom

I will flow out of intimacy
And draw people into Him

****

I will repel the cobwebs
And paper walls

I will ponder the works of God
And not the falls

I will set the tragedies free
And not centre them around me

****

I will dream as if nothing were impossible
And pull fire from heroes unstoppable
I will run the race and receive the prize,
of Kingdom come and God glorified

Handling Dissapointment

2007-06-12T16:40:00.000Z

There are many of us who have contended alongside Vicky for her healing. We know it was God's will for her to be healed and yet, tragically, her death on Saturday is a reality.

I am so impressed by the faith of Living Waters, of her leadership and their courage to not bend the promises of God under attack and circumstance. I am so proud of my church, Vicky and Rob. Heroes of the faith.

Love is so important right now in our church family and grief so needed.

These times can be scary for us who put our faith on the line for something and our dissapointed that we didn't see the breakthrough. It's so important to rest in God's love and security and keep our minds renewed on the truth. Let's not give way.

I, and many friends have found teaching on dissapointment by Bill really helpful for this. He has been there and I trust him. He does specific teaching on this which you can download from the bethel church store, but much of it is contained in the 4 sessions at the new wine's leadership conference held a month ago. the link to download it is below thanks to Woodies. Bless you guys x

http://thefuse.info/news/4-new-fusecast-episodes-bill-johnson-at-new-wine-2007/

A Response

2007-05-31T16:15:00.000Z

I have come accross many people who, because of their experiences, tell me that in reality the fullness of the kingdom modelled by Jesus is not always for us, now. This is just a quick response - to hopefully put accross a different view on this.

The gospel is salvation and salvation (‘soteria’) is an all-inclusive, holistic term that restores all that was lost at the fall. It means forgiveness, healing, prosperity, deliverance, safety, rescue, liberation and restoration.

Now if we believe that we already have one part of the word (‘forgiveness’) then we also, legally, have the rest of it – as in Jesus has already earned all this for us. Now I will be the first to say that we haven’t fully pulled in our legal inheritance yet, but it’s not because it is impossible in our time. It is why we need to keep contending and praying ‘your kingdom come as it is in heaven.’

I know that not every person that comes to me for healing gets healed at the moment. So, I can lower the standard of Holy Scripture to meet my level of experience, or I can pursue more of the Kingdom and change my experience. We know that God hates sickness like he hates sin. So he wants us out of sickness, right now. The father can’t want us in sickness to teach us things when it cost Jesus everything to get us out of it – the Trinity can’t be divided. It says that Jesus did what he saw the father doing and Jesus healed every sick person that came to Him for healing. So the problem is not with God.

We also have been justified, so there is no good beating ourselves up either, particularly when Jesus took the beatings for us.

So the last thing we can look at is the demonic – and we are in a battle there. But the gates of hell cannot prevail against the church – so we have not just a legal right to health, but also we are on the winning side. That’s not to say we aren’t going to have disappointments on the way – but if we know it’s our inheritance we will fight more for it and see more and more people healed. We can’t pray ‘your kingdom come’ and then not really expect it to manifest. There is no sickness or poverty or demon oppression in the kingdom – so when we pray ‘kingdom come’ we are pulling all that onto earth.

When Jesus sent people out he told them to say that ‘the kingdom of heaven is (present tense) at hand’ then to lay their hands on the sick and heal the sick, raise the dead and cast out demons. That was the gospel according to Jesus and Jesus is perfect theology. Jesus never preached the gospel without demonstrating it in power. They cannot be separated. Where people have chased this biblical example of the gospel, they have found it. In Mozambique, they have had 60 people raised from the dead because they take Jesus at his word and they also see countless deaf people healed. In Redding California cancer rates have dropped 50% since they started praying and healing the sick.

And just a little end note!!: When Jesus said the poor will always be with you, He was doing it within a specific context. He was talking to a bunch of people who had the privilege in time and space to have the physical Lord Jesus with them. Jesus was speaking to them. They were always going to have the poor with them in their lifetime, because the kingdom was not going to be fully established across the planet in their lifetime. They had a unique privileged choice to spend on the physical Jesus in-front of them or the poor.

It is different for us - we don’t have that same choice. For us if we spend on the poor we ARE spending on Jesus – for what we do for them we do for Him. But just as that is different, so He was not making an eternal or universal statement when He said ‘the poor will always be with you’. Instead He asked us to establish the kingdom (which has no poverty in it) and to practically help impoverished people out of poverty.

All in all, we owe the world a divine encounter. Have fun doing it!

You need to read this book. Seriously.

2007-05-15T13:52:00.000Z

The Bible is only truth, if you get the truth from it.

The Bible is a book that we give so much power over our lives to. We use to build organizations, families, lives and ministries upon. Hadn't we better understand what it actually means - not what we've heard it means (traditions of thought) or what we think it could mean. We give it far too much power to not understand it.

'How to read the Bible for all it's worth' teaches you how to work out what the books of the Bible are actually saying. Once you've worked that out then you are equipped to apply it to life.

I had to read this book as part of a course. I started reading it thinking this was for the clueless people who totally needed a guide to the Bible. I also thought it would be boring!

But it has changed my life and my relationship with the truth i base my life upon. How scary to base a life on something that isn't necessarily there in the text! It's also scary to now see that so much of the stuff great christians get from the Bible - is not what it was saying to us. Scary!

Do yourself the biggest, most essential favour ever and learn how to read the Bible.

God Invades...!

2007-05-14T16:24:00.003Z

My friend Darren, writes about last friday night outside starbucks in Redding California. He, and my other friends there, have been at school of ministry too. It's cool to hear that they are just doing the stuff...!!!

Darren writes...

I had to write this because of what happened tonight.
It's about 12:55 am and we just got back from discovery village.

A couple hours earlier ...

I had got to discovery village at about 10:30 to meet joel, karen, and camille. We end up talking outside starbucks and just hanging out. There are two black guys that we end up meeting, charles and garland. They came from LA and are visiting; and I realized that I had seem them both at school earlier. Anyways, charles and garland come over and they both actually come and sing for us since they told us they lead worship down at their church in LA. They both finish and charles ends up getting me drunk and I fall down laughing!

Well, 4 girls, who are in high school we find out,sitting down besides us were watching charles and garland sing and laughed with us; after I fell down, however, they come over and start asking Karen "Is he (me) okay?" I'm still laughing and Karen starts explaining to them what's going on. I eventually get called over there and we talk to them about our youth kids and how they have been seeing angels and getting crazy encounters. Karen tells one of the girls that she sees fashion over her and she gets the chills and tells us that she wants to be a fashion designer when she grows up! Well, I feel the prophetic wave coming up and I start gathering words of knowledge.

Two of the girls start talking to Karen and Camille and we have two of the girl's attention. I am talking to one of them and I tell her, "Hey, this might sound totally crazy and I could be totally wrong, but I just see you with a lot of children." She almost but doesn't quite understand and I ask her if she likes children. She is a little shocked and she asks me, "How did you know that?" I tell her that I see her loving on children and I saw her as a teacher, loving on children that never had love growing up and that she was changing many children's lives through it. She begins to cry and she tells me that she's wanted to be a teacher since growing up and earlier that day, those 4 girls had been talking about her and children! While she's crying, I start prophesying about how she's been wanting something real and she is getting freaked out; telling us that for weeks now, she's been crying out to God to see if God is real or not.

Karen on the other side with Camille, ends up praying for one of the girl's back because of back pains. She gets instantly healed and starts freaking out while telling her friends that she never had this feeling before. We continue to minister, giving out words of knowledge and prophesying over the girl's lives. Karen and Camille end up praying for the other girl who had an ulcer in her stomache which caused pain and she couldn't eat regularly for the past 3 weeks. They finish praying and she says that the pain is all gone and she felt a cold touch on her stomache! She starts freaking out and begins to cry!

I walk over to the pair of girls Camille is talking with and as we talk, I had this word for one of the girls about family troubles. She instantly gets freaked out and walks away crying. Her best friends tell me about the recent situation in her life with family and when she comes back, she apologizes for walking away but we say it's fine. Me and Camille end up prophesying over her life that God wants to heal the family and is all about restoration. We start to teach them on the "misconceptions" about God and they all start to ask us questions because of their particular stage in life. This whole time, they are telling us that "It feels right to be here right now" and we tell them that it was totally God who set them up! I think 2 of them used to go to church but had never felt God this way.

Karen and Joel are talking to the other girls and start leading them through some stuff. Me and Camille walk over and find out that two of the girls have sculiosis which is a disease on the spine which makes it hurt a lot. Me and Camille put our hands on one of the girls back and as soon as I begin to pray, Camille feels a snap on her spine and starts laughing! Camille asks the girl, "DID YOU FEEL THAT?" and she ends up laughing and says, "YES" while her other friend who got healed of the ulcer is watching all of this! She then tells us that there is no more pain and that later on, she had to have gotten a surgery for it! All of the girls start telling us that they never had felt anything like this before. They got healed and touched by the Holy Spirit and it was fantastic.

All 4 of the girls are getting radically touched and we start telling them about Bethel and how they should come and they were so excited about coming. We still end up ministering to the 2nd girl who had sculiosis and all of us, including the girls, are praying for her. Karen is ministering to her prophetically and starts calling out the peace and destiny over her life while the rest of us are praying for healing. At the end of it, she is crying and we ask her about the pain. She tells us that it's all gone now!

They are all so overwhelmed at thinking "We are so glad that we came to discovery village tonight!" We end up praying and prophesying over charles and he falls over crying and laughing which got to show the girls how to minister to other people. We have them start laying their hands on him and praying over him and after a while, we have them pray over garland since he is getting drunk as well.

This whole ordeal lasted about 2 hours in the front of discovery village. There are so many other details about what happened tonight; the new levels of the prophetic and words of knowledge; teaching the girls how to listen to the Lord and showing them that God is not a God of judgment but a God of love!

It was freaking amazing. God totally showed up at discovery village.
The 4 girls are coming to church on sunday night and we are making them sit with us.

I love Jesus.

Jesus Culture

2007-02-17T07:21:00.000Z

See more of what we got up to at www.jesusculture.org

Jesus Culture

2007-02-16T06:12:00.000Z

We anticipated, it came, it rocked and I have the t-shirt.

We anticpated, He came, He rocked and I'l never be the same.

Now, from conference to culture - the church has left the building...

wow wow wow

2007-02-05T07:46:00.000Z

so much to say!!!!!!

I've been back at Bethel 3 weeks now and so much has been happening i feel like i havn't slept in um - well - 3 weeks!! i had major catch up to do from all i had missed and all the assignments i hadn't done. we've also had a bunch going on - steve buckley, bobby conner, mario murrillo and at the moment Todd Bentley have been spending time teaching at school and preaching here. It has been so good to sit under so many annointings and plug into other people's wells.

friday we saw 100 healings - multiple visable tumors dissapearing instantly, cancers going instantly, asthma going instantly, crippled legs being straightened out, bi-polar getting kicked out, deaf hearing, blind seeing - the lame wearn't walking - they were running and dancing. people that came in on walkers were lifting them over their head and demonstrating their healing - wow what things to see and days to live

This is the year of the billion soul harvest. The day isn't comming, it has come. last week we saw 500 saved, this week we saw 100. But its not going to happen all in Redding - we only have 80 000 on our hands - and believe me thats enough for us to cope with! Its breaking out everywhere, 44 000 weekly in China, millions in Africa, 500 just recently in Muslim Asia...The wave is comming.

What i was wondering yesturday was whether we would be like the famous little girl on the beach that recognised the signs of the impending Tsunami or wether we will be unaware of the signs of the times and miss this opotunity to break out and live in view of the knowledge of what's going on.

What a time to be alive - the biggest revival to ever hit the earth is going on, the demonstration of the gospal with supernatural power is breaking out more than ever before - mighty ones of God are rising up and possessing the land - pulling the kingdom onto earth.

It's a privalage to be on God's team today - with such amazing team-mates!!

Lets go to the next level!! - yeah Jesus!!

Back to the USA

2007-01-04T23:21:00.000Z

Hi folks! I'm hailing yal from sweet Nashville!

I flew in on New Years Day to be greeted by my friends from Bethel - it was so amazing to see them again - really special to be re-connecting with some of the tribe!

I had a really tricky time getting back into the country and had to have an immigration interview - they are not pleasant things (this being the 2nd in my life). but God gave me his assurance on the plane that i would get into the country and he changed my fear into confidence with the words from an amazing song. I was panicing to be truthful (and very unspiritual). i knew that i needed to conquor the fear before i arrived at the immigration desks, i needed to lay hands on my immigration form - not cowering with fear before the authorities of this world - but with confidence that daddy would sort it out as i claimed my authority over nations.

i started to suddenly see images of Redding, the streets and buildings, then the song i was listoning to said 'what do you see?" i could exclaim 'Redding!'. We have been taught a lot at Bethel about what you see is what you get, what you envision is what you achieve - without vision the people perish.

then the song said "what do you decree?" i immediatly thought 'Access!' - this was what i was claiming!

then the song said (get this for being so right on!):

"I shall roll out my red carpet and you shall walk through with ease"

i had it - i was given the faith to get me through, with ease. it doesn't bear thinking about how close i came to not getting in and what that would mean to me, but actually it was safe with God and i walked through, with ease.

xx Thank you to those praying specifically for this and for all of your love and prayers - bless you! xx

Sarah

Some unoriginal (but rather good) thoughts

2006-12-23T21:27:00.000Z

These people say that they are mine

they Honour me with their lips but their hearts are far from me

and their worship of me is nothing but man made rules learned by rote

Because of this I will once again astound these hypocrites with Amazing Wonders

The wisdom of the wise will pass away

and the intelligence of the intelligent will disappear...

I was thinking today quite sceptically of a couple of people who claim some really far out supernatural experiences and then I was blown away by these verses in Isaiah 29.

Oh God I want to see wonders but not because I'm a hypocrite!Though now I'm thinking 'ok i still don't want to be an unbelieving hypocrite, but i know i need to still have my mind messed with by some wonderous works of God'. God come out of the box I've put you in! I don't want to just upgrade the size of my God box, I want him out of the box (whatever that looks like (gulp!))!!

Photo Fountain

2006-12-12T18:25:00.000Z

For a bountiful selection from the last few months in California check out:

http://picasaweb.google.com/dreamsarehere/CaliforniaFall200602

xx

Back to Britania

2006-12-12T12:17:00.000Z

OK. I know. It's been a shockingly long time and it's bad!! it's been crazy to say the least but i finally got all set for going to the UK, packed up, fitted in a quick trespassing trip to a hot tub and made the trip down to San Fran for my flight. We stopped off at the Golden Gate Bridge on the way, which was more amazing than i had expected.

Was great to see my mum's smiling face at Heathrow - felt just like Love Actually - and had a whirlwind weekend of sleeping at strange times, speaking strangely (spoke at both services on sunday and they could hear my accent both times!) and hanging out with strange peeps - no not really - it was great to be see my long lost homegroup.

Now I'm in the UK I've been forced to cross over to the dark side and entered the depths of myspace - if you want to keep in touch that way give me a shout at http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=137799383

xx

Marriage of Ministries

2006-11-15T19:31:00.000Z

On Sunday We had Roland and Heidi Baker with us for the marriage of Iris Ministries and Bethel - they aren't merging but have entered a covenent relationship. Iris already have their US offices at Bethel and Elijah & Kristalyn (their children) live here too.
Heidi spoke at the morning services and in the evening we had the marriage - it was a really good time. everyone was encouraged to lay something at thier feet - money towards the wedding pressent (a well drill for mozambique) or just a shoe lace - whatever!

They jumped down and insisted on hugging everyone - much to Bill's bewilderment! Time isn't a factor for this mozambiquan couple - we were in church 9 hours on Sunday- truelly African! (the woman on the far right lives with me and is the office manager for Bethel - she's also highly prophetic - which is great when you loose the car keys!).

Signs that Make You Wonder

2006-11-15T18:47:00.000Z

God first...!!

OK so are you ready to put British rationalism to the side for a moment and check out some stuff that's going on. it really helps me to remember what Aslan said about the suspicious and synical dwaves in The Last Battle - 'They are so scared of being taken in, that they cannot be taken out [into heaven]'. Yes lets weigh things and be wise, but let us not be so confined to what we think that we miss Gods out-of-the-box approach right in front of us. Oh God let us not be pharisees and miss you infront of us because you don't fit within our ideas!

There have been gem stones turning up in churches and homes that Bill has visited in the mid-west and east coast. I've seen pictures of them - there's a whole box in one place. they are just appearing on floors and clothes and in peoples hands as they worship. One lady has the scar of where the gem came out of her hand. One pastor had one by his bed and it woke him up in the night vibrating. They are often hot to the touch and leave a hot spot on your hands where you held it. The biggest ones are bigger than the hope diamond. Many of them have been sent to experts in the field of precious stones. They have all come back with the report that they are perfect and that they are made of a substance that has never been found on earth. We had never had one at Bethel until sunday when one was found by a cleaner after the morning service. I held it and it was amazing - perfectly cut about 5mm high and 4mm wide (see my pic above).

Who are we to say that these things are pointless? In the same meeting a man who was completly blind in one eye was healed during worship and after the service i saw him freaking out again - he had just regained hearing in an ear where he had had his eardrum sergically removed some 20 years ago!

Stretching make us able to do things we couldn't do before...

2006-11-10T18:51:00.000Z

It feels like everything God is speaking about to me is then repeated in some sermon at the moment - its amazing confirmation but very stretching! we were talking about being 100% focussed on our calling and not compromising and then overcomming fear to step into ministry situations we don't think we can do!!

As you all know, as soon as i'm behind a microphone i freak out! Its not a place i feel comfortable in and so generally avoid! But who knows that we all need to be free of fear and walk in confidence in all areas so that we can be flexibly used todevelop the kingdom in whatever way we need to? So, I've been avoiding the microphone, as per usual. But as it happens twice in two days I've gotten to share and pray over the whole school.

One of the words that got me to Bethel in the first place was ' if you can't get rid of the fear, then go scared, but go!' and the other day after i had been behind that microphone a couple of times, the woman teaching said 'if you can't get shot of the fear, then preach scared and beat it that way!' - wow - was so timely!

Being up there was scary but i knew i needed to speak and both times i prayed over the school the spirit touched people which was so cool - i was so honoured to be used by God and give Him glory even though it was hard to be up there!

***Heidi and Roland will be with us this weekend for the mrriage of ministries that's happening on Sunday between Bethel and Iris. Looking forward to Heidi speaking on Sunday - she has a lot to impart and it will be great to just absorb all she has. - I'l give you some feedback next week!

leaders conference

2006-11-02T03:10:00.000Z

I have loved this week. We have had a leadership conference here with pastors and leaders from all over the US and the world comming. From the 'big names' to the faithful survents qiuetly building the kingdom somewhere, they are all welcomed with such honour and such a heart to build them up and impart all that Bethel is.

They were getting truelly wacked yesturday as drunk and disorderlyness broke out over dinner! It was the crazy Bulgarian again, back after a couple of weeks! It was catching - half the servers (school of ministry students) where out with it, Bethel staff were piled up in heaps and the pastors were roaring drunk!

i loved being involved and welcoming them all to Bethel. As the overseer of our house is the office manager for Bethel we help her at conference time. From little admin jobs in the office building to doing registration, its such a privalge to serve and represent such a house.

If you want the CD's from the conference give me a shout.

xx

the crazy bulgarian and other things

2006-10-24T15:36:00.000Z

So a week ago we had Georgian come speak at school. The most outragious and contagious person we've met - he is drunk, preaches drunk, gets people drunk and ministers out of drunk - its insane - but so so much fun! this guy is so overflowing with the spirit that people would get blasted just being near him - particularly if he fired his imaginary guns in your direction! He works a lot in hard to reach areas - muslim countries and enclaves and at home in the muslim ghettos of bulgaria where mny are saved by his 'hug' ministry as he passes on the touch of the Holy Spirit. He took the evening service too and we had a fire tunnle and a bit of a dance session into the late hours!

I realised that i havn't shown you the school/church. I will get an exterior shot at some point but in the meantime here's a pic of the main sanctury/ 1st year class/ christian school gym!!

It's pretty modest - they can only cram a 1000 people in at one time and with a home population of 3000 and a continual flow of visitors, its just not cutting it. There are 80 000 people in Redding, and when they all come into the kingdom (even when spread around the many great churches) there just isn't the space at the moment. It's perfect for school though - we fill it but there's still space to dance like lunitics and only occasionally knock someone out! Its such a place of freedom, naturally and supernaturally. We've had crazy swessions in this room - sometimes with the whole school dancing in the ailses, on the stage, in their seats. but my favourite session was just 2 of us with the music cranked up late at night - filling the empty space with dance and worship and prophesy. Its pretty special.

Introducing...!!

2006-10-18T17:47:00.001Z

This last week has been the most intense for me so far - kinda a culmination of the other weeks which softened the ground for the Holy Spirit to work on me! It's so special! so this (above) is the new Sarah - she looks pretty similar but believe me - she's not the same!!

So other than hanging out with the Holy Spirit i've um been well um hanging out with the Holy Spirit - this is what i do a lot of ==>

- journaling - can't quite keep up with myself! We have a lot of reading, study and homework to do - so i have my nose in a book a lot! we're reading the whole bible this year and studying it in class as we go - its so good.

I'm really knowing daddy's love - he's provided me with some really key friends who are just pulling out the gold in me - yesturday we just had the giggles as we stepped into a new level of joy - its just so fun! Bill was sharing a profound messege with the first year of school - which was amazing too! All about not checking yourself for motives because it shifts your focuss of Jesus and His glorification - the devil loves to cripple us by getting us naval gazing!

You know His blessings are just so spectacular - i needed a car while i am here bacause it's built around cars here and your totally stuck without - so i prayed a momentry plea - 'God i don't know how but i need a car - can you sort it out for me?' the next day my roomate said i can car share her car - you wanna see the car God provided for free?... ok check this out for heavenly provision...

And after recieving financial blessing i just prayed for another guy at school who was struggling financially and he got an incredible financial blessing within a week! its crazy - we don't understand it all - but lets keep passing it on!!

Bless you all!

10.10.06

2006-10-10T16:38:00.000Z

Hey y'all! By the 11th I will have been here a month - which is kind wierd. things have been pretty crazy and busy recently. I've started training with the children's department at church outside of school hours - which is an amazing opotunity. There is such a strong belief that kids don't come with a childsized holy spirit - which means hey walk in expectation that the kids in the school and childrens church will walk in the same demonstrations of the supernatural as any of the adult population. Infact they are serpassing - one small group of kids trained up in the bethel culture have seen the first dead person raised back to life and health! Bethel re offering a year long training course with pratice to learn how to release and encourage kids into their full spiritual potential - now! So that's keeping me busy!

School has also stepped up a notch. We now have outreach, small group and home group requirements, time in the prayer centre, homewok, biblical study and books to read and report on - its busy busy but good - really good! the pic above is a shot of the infinity pool a the prayer centre - it runs off into a waterfall - its such a great place to look out over the valley, to wade in the water and to spend time with Jesus.

Thankyou everyone who is praying for me and supporting me in so many ways. I am so thankful to be here at this time and know i am in God's perfect will for me at this moment - that's exciting! I'm learning so much (head and heart) and can't wait to grow more!

California Dreamin

2006-09-21T23:59:00.000Z

Its been a week and a half but feels like a age since i've been living in very sunny California - its been intense, beautiful, normal, very different and familier all at once! It's been tough leaving the UK and all the people a care about the most, but as i'm gradually settling in here - i am begining to love the people and the place.

Redding in northern Cali is 2 1/2hours north of San Francisco and has a population of 80 000. The city is on the edge of the mountains and far enough out of the way to be it's own world. Bethel Church has a ministry school of 500 (inc all 3 years), church population of 3000 and a large christian school. It sits on a big campus on it's own small hill overlooking the mountains - and is always busy!! there is a road leading to the church and its constantly got traffic - everyday this church building is a centre of community and kingdom business!

Here's a view from the prayer garden. The littleprayer house is open 24-7 and the garden is inspiring with an infinity pool from which to pray...

On tuesday the whole school left redding for retreat a couple of hours north into the hills - so beautiful! My housemate Emily, a second year and myself stopped on the way up to test out my lonely planet guide and go find a waterfall it raved about. we walked up a railway line for 30min and came to these falls:The pic only shows a fragment of this spectacular fall. apparently loney planet were guiding the rest of the world too - we met several other students on the tracks inc a brit - Robert.

What is 'church'?

2006-08-04T11:19:00.000Z

I have an inkling that Christian community is a relevant outworking of what church was, is and could be. Rather than it being exclusive – can community actually offer the base and security of acceptance and ‘good Samaritan’ style love, that reaches and importantly keeps reaching, people where they need it and where they can make sense of it?

It’s not a simple thing because nothing is where humans are involved. It takes love of community, of people, of God and a humility that says ‘not my will but yours’. It takes loving discipleship style leadership, that model and inspire the love that makes it tick. But is it all idealism. And if it is, what does that say about church.

I want to be part of something that holds people in Corinthians 13 love and not just attracts them in that way. That’s real isn’t it? Hospitality not just for the ‘seekers’ and students, but as a characteristic across the community.

I think this is worth trying – it’s what we preach but think is radical in practice!! He he! I think it’s also worth a shot in missional contexts. If we’re asking people in other cultures to be shunned by their families and communities when they choose to follow jesus, we sure as **** better have a greater community and family that they are welcomed into. Not once, but for the rest of their lives.

'watch where you walk'

2006-08-01T11:17:00.000Z

As anyone can tell you, I am not the biggest fan of snakes in the world. I have had many interesting encounters, lots of grace and just a few scares – but we’re still not great friends.

So, curled up with Moses (the cat not the man) last night, I was reading my lonely planet guide to California, and happened on a bit about bears, lions, rattlesnakes and spiders – ‘oh joy’ I thought…

Tigers and bears – fine. Apparently with the tigers you fight off aggressively and the bears you play dead – good, got it, not a problem. The snakes you avoid – right ok. And the spiders get everywhere.

The most notable of which is our little friend the Black Widow. I was surprised they lived in the states – thought they just inhabited the bottom of the world they call Oz.

I can tell you now the size (15mm body) and colouring – black to brown top with orange/red hourglass marking on the bottom (if you ever see it – I thought). It’s amazing what you can retain!

So since then spiders have been dropping out of everywhere – even my hair! I’ve never had a fear of spiders, and I don’t intend to start one now. But I just want to shout ‘Ow Maaaan!!!’ not another thing to watch out for!

Bethel School of Ministry

2006-07-04T16:27:00.001Z

People ask me all the time about whether they should go to Bethel. My answer? - It's something you need to ask God about - He knows the path that is just right for us. BUT (I always quickly add) It will never be a bad decision.

Going to Bethel was like coming home for the first time in my life. i found my tribe, more of myself, more of my God and a doorway into a life of wonders. To be in the most encouraging place on earth and one of the forerunning centres of what God is doing on the planet, is truly amazing - from here you could go anywhere.

You can follow my journey to and from Bethel on this blog, starting about here (spring 2006), whatever you do be strong and very courageous for He is with you...

Spring 2006>>>

I've been watching The Convent over the past few weeks, and though its not entirely my style, there is much to learn from the nuns and their life choice. The focus of taking a vow and living in a community helps to create a lifestyle of complete abandon and obedience to God- but isn't it how we should all be living - that focussed, that dependant?

Anyway, I'm not becoming a nun - well not in the strictest sense - but I am going away for a while. I feel God has suggested that there is something i need to do to be the person i need to be, and that Bethel is the place for it to happen. I'm not sure if I’ll turn from a bug to a butterfly but i know that the discipline of taking 9 months out to grow and learn and pray and practice and prepare and live 100% focussed on God - will allow space for God to speak and work on me.

That's not to say that going is not slightly scary, it is. I have to share my world with Americans who don't know what a kettle is. But God is good, and faithful and he will walk me through it. I've already randomly met a fab girl who's also going from the UK, but I’ve even got accommodation sorted - hurrah for God.

From September I will be sharing the journey on this blog over the nine months, so please do keep track and soak up any words of revelation i pass on. Obedience isn't always that bad either - check out the view!

Is faith spelt RISK or TRUST?

2006-07-04T14:15:00.000Z

People have said faith is spelt RISK and it is in many ways. But, sometimes it's more like TRUST. like how you tust a parent when you're little or you trust a spouse that you know so well, that's more what faith looks like to me.

someone once said to me they could never live by faith as it's too risky. But actually, just as you know that your parents will provide for you and look after you when you're little, living by faith is like that - isn't it? because you know Jesus you believe in him and believe thathe will look after you. its not so much a battle but a relationship.

Anyway, words are one thing walking it is quite another! when everything else is shaken and falls away, that relationship is still there. theology might be out the window, but Jesus is still there.

With a major illness in the family, its not standing on sermons about faith that counts - it's that Jesus is still there in the middle of it.

Pretty shoes are generous because...

2006-06-28T10:05:00.000Z

they cost a lot
they hurt a lot
they cause health problems
they cause addiction problems
they cause walking down hills problems
you can't drive in them
and they are leathel when combined with cattle grids

But all this is suffered at great cost,
so that others can take great joy in seeing very beautiful shoes.
aah. Now that's generosity.

Friends

2006-06-20T11:06:00.000Z

what is the friendship thing? I am wondering, having spent the weekend with some very special girlfriends of mine, what the friendship thing is. You see, according to Bridget Jones and the rest of the world there are certain expectations with romantic relationships - but are there with frienships?

In junior school, we formalised friendships a bit like relationships. We had specific, offical and publically recognised 'best friends' and a defined friendship group who we exclusivly hung out with in the playground, invited to birthday parties and had play days round at each-others houses.

come high school, we dropped the 'best friend' thing but still just about had them and had a slighty less defined and bigger social group. these were more casual then previously and they may never see the inside of your front door.

come college, everyone is too cool and popular to define friendship groups and everything is super casual and fluid - everyone is everyone's friend and the pub is your home.

Uni and it changes again - your good friends become your family as you live in the same student house and then there's the folk from your basketball team and your English lectures, and your housemates friends and the random you met at a club and the girls from church...

so you leave uni and you're suddenly in a town where no-one knows your name and your good friends are scattered and you all begin new lives, with new people, new churches and again, new friends.

In your wake are tens of people who've been your friends, who you've trusted, who've seen your everyday and your hey day, who've sat up all night talking in PJ's - who you've had a relationship with (even if platonic) but have left along the way.

It's seen as positive to have had many friends but hurtful to have had many broken relationships - hmmm no point just a musing. That actually people are care-free about making friends and leaving friends, but are more cautious with relationships...

A trip to your home -town and fantastic old friends can make you think! I may not invest as much into them or expect as much back as a romantic relationship - it may not be formal or official, but actually they're consistancy is awesome and I love them to bits!!

I am Bridget

2006-06-16T14:24:00.000Z

boyfriend: 0 (but whole and happy with self)
weight: unknown (and sticking to it)
ww points consumed: now unknown as pastries and donuts points value cannot be found due to general presumption they will not be consumed whilst on ww.
cigerettes: 0 but now considering valid option
balls planned: 1
riding planned: 1
glamerous weekend away with the girls planned: 2
exercise: 2
spiritual moments: 0 (but may just have one now as missing God chats)

I did an msn 'are you going to die because you're obese' test yesturday. asked all sorts of personal questions and was, i feel, quite inaapropriate. Anyway complied and worked out weightage in kg as silly system does not work in stone like rest of sane world. was very complicated to work out and involved great mathmatical and research skills. good for me. Anyway it said i was in the most 'at risk' catagory as had over 5 points on test. oh dear. plus it's probably not too promising as underestimated weight (as from last weight watchers meeting over 2 months ago and height which I'm never sure of - must measure before i die. preferably not of obesity as would not look exceedingly glamerous and dignified on death certificate). Anyway. point being: Kg very bizarre race.

Thing most disterbing when reading highly acclaimed and intelectual novel 'Edge of Reason'. Is frequant mention of weightage and general implication that rather large with lots of help needed to combat largeness. primarily large underwear, gym regime etc. but again point being, 9 st 6 undercuts weight of self considerably, so making self feel very obese - both through literary world and msn world and pastry and donut just consumed. gaaaah.

Not sure if good for mental state to be reading said book. hmmmm

When nobody speaks of remarkable things

2006-06-15T15:13:00.000Z

Getting real and keeping the faith?

2006-06-08T12:16:00.000Z

I'm looking forward to the release of Pete Greig's latest work 'God on Mute'. I've had many (many) heated discussions with Mr worthington surrounding this one - why if we are promised healing from the man that took sickness in every lashing, do friends still die of cancer. Why, if my brother is covered by the blood and is an inheritor of freedom, is he suffering month on month, and now year upon year.

I have my 'head' stance - that truth is in the word and that present circumstances are just temporary facts. I know my God is big enough. I know every theory and believe me we've covered them and tried them all. Don't tell me God brings these things to teach us and grow us. My God is the God of life and wholeness, he won't instigate this sickness and suffering. I know Him. And I have seen his power and his miricles.

That established, where I'm at does not even fit into words let alone rational thoughts. All i can do is scream at heaven: WHY? why is he still so bound? why is he not free after the first petition so many months ago? why when we tell this mountain to move does it not jump? why can't we hear your thoughts on this issue Jesus. endless whys...

And still, everyday i go home and he's not healed.

What i see conflicts with everything i believe. there aren't easy answers though everyone has one. Hello - it's not meant to be like this.

This I know, and has not been moved. Somewhere in the middle of this, Jesus is so powerful. He has not changed, his presence is more than real, his love is unshaken and I Trust Him. that's all the answer i have left. He is all I'l ever need, He is good, He never leaves and His heart is bigger and deeper and older and fresher than any of ours. It is (with)in Him that I need to be.

Being the change

2006-06-07T09:45:00.000Z

Mahatma Ghandi had it right when he said: 'Be the change you want to see in the world.' I may be a modern hippy and 'you may say I'm a dreamer' (but I think we've already established that - though not quite in the Lennon sense), but do we do nothing and not impact anything or at least be able to say that change has happened in me - in one person? Who knows at sometime in our lives we may even effect another person!!!

Actually I think we do effect things already either positively or negatively. The little things with the people we live or work with, the lovely helpful person at the tesco check-out, or the little old lady you don't know but wave to every day. Then there's the big stuff. Giving and giving big. Collectively joining forces with all the other millions of people (that feel they don't really make a difference either) and buying good energy. Getting to a place of influence at work...

Thing is with me, is that I can think all this stuff, encourage the world to do it, complain about the problems and the exploitation but never establish it in my own life. Its good to think BIG but sometimes I need to think small as well.

Helen

2006-06-05T14:03:00.000Z

My friend Helen, who is an amazing woman of God and courageous enough to follow Jesus around the world, has just emailed some news and photos.

Her stories of places in India (which are so familiar to me) and experiences in Rwanda/Mozambique, just stir in me a love for such people and places. I just get taken to a place of longing to be in touch with such precious people - each child, woman and man who God loves. It's something of Jesus in us that draws us to reach out and touch each individual with love.

I was reading yesterday an account from a girl in Moz who also works for Iris ministries there. I related so strongly with her simple statement that 'nothing could be so important' as caring for 'unwanted', withdrawn children and seeing them change into healthy, whole - fun loving, Jesus praising, kids. You can check it all out at http://www.irismin.org/